Dark Depths
by Lucy Mars
Summary: Beginnings are usually scary, endings are usually sad, but it's what's in the middle that counts. You just have to give hope a chance to float up.
1. The journey of a thousand miles must beg...

Title: Dark Depths

Author: Lucy Mars

Rating: PG-13-ish?

Disclaimer: I don't own 'em. I'll play nice and return them when I'm done. Well...maybe not with Amy. ;]

*Post Night Five with a healthy dose of JoshandDonna-ness eventually. All you Amy lovers...run! ;] 

"She going to be okay?" Donna asked appearing at CJ's door with a cup of coffee for herself and some tea for CJ.

Taking the steaming cup from Donna, CJ rubbed her eyes tiredly. "No, but she's going to have to be…right? She has a little boy and a newborn to take care of. I mean…she has to be strong for them. It's just…I can't stop thinking about…How is she suppose to tell them that their father isn't coming home?" 

Looking down into the depths of her dark coffee, Donna felt her heart lurch for the poor woman and her two children. "I don't know," she whispered, "but she doesn't really have a choice, now does she?"

"No." CJ sighed. Letting a moment pass by, she couldn't help but laugh sadly, "Well this isn't exactly how I pictured my day would go."

"Me neither." Donna whispered trying to warm her cold hands. "She told me that her daughters name was Donna. She has a newborn baby named Donna."

"There are just some days…" CJ trailed off, "I wonder what my life would be like if I'd just stayed in California."

Smiling sadly, Donna played with her lid. "If I had stayed in Wisconsin, I think that I would have become exactly what I didn't want to become."

"What's that?" CJ asked curiously.

Looking up, Donna smiled sadly. "My mother. An unhappy woman living her entire life trying to seem like she had the perfect life."

"But you're not her." CJ pointed out smiling gently, "You are an independent woman who is living her life."

"Do you think that you would have been happy if you'd stayed in California?"

"No," CJ said sipping tea slowly. "I would have been miserable. Rich but miserable."

Laughing, Donna looked down at her pocket and the napkin that was burning a hole in her pocket. "I was offered a job tonight."

"What?" CJ asked sitting up in surprise.

"An old friend," Donna shrugged, "offered me a job and too much money."

"There's no such thing." CJ laughed, "What kind of job?"

"It's not important. I'm not taking it."

"No?"

"You think that I would leave?" Donna asked with a sad undercurrent.

"Well no," CJ admitted, "but I'd think that you'd be tempted. More money, more time for you to do all the things that we all complain about not having time to do and no…"

"Josh." Donna said finishing CJ's thought.

"Well…" CJ said uncomfortably, "yeah."

"I love working here." Donna said softly.

"Even lately?" CJ asked gently. You'd have to be blind not to notice the shift in Josh and Donna's relationship. It wasn't that they weren't working well together, but it was all the things that they weren't doing anymore. It was almost like Josh didn't have time for Donna, or any of them anymore.

Looking up at CJ in surprise, Donna slowly let her gaze shift out CJ's door and down the hall to Josh's empty office. "Yeah. Even tonight."

"Okay. Did you tell Josh?"

"Yeah."

"How did he react?" CJ asked following Donna's sad gaze.

Her eyes falling away and back down to her coffee, Donna shrugged. "I don't know."

"You don't know?" CJ asked incredulously, "Donna come on. You've got to give me something better than that."

"I really don't know what Josh is thinking anymore. He didn't seem to care that I got a job offer. All he cared about was getting that damn face book." Donna said stopping herself and her bitter tone. "Listen, it's really no big deal."

"Yeah," CJ said sarcastically, "I can tell."

Her laughter sounded strained as it echoed through the quiet office. Donna closed her eyes briefly and clutched her coffee cup. "He offered me a title bump."

"Yeah?" CJ asked feeling relieved. So Josh was stupid, but not that stupid. "What?"

"The title I have now." Donna laughed bitterly. "He doesn't even know what my title is. If it was up to him, I'd be Donnatella Moss – the girl who does the thing and doesn't bring coffee."

"You're important to Josh."

"Yeah," Donna scoffed, "I make sure he's on time and that he has everything he needs. A job that only I can do."

"You are the only person who can handle Josh."

"Josh is doing a pretty good job of handling himself lately. I really have become just the girl who does the thing and refuses to bring coffee." Donna pointed out rolling the steaming cup between her hands, "And I haven't had a chance to refuse to bring him coffee in weeks."

"Donna," CJ sighed settling her tea down, "you are the only person who can keep Josh Lyman in check."

Shaking her head, Donna leaned back into CJ couch. "I'm not taking it CJ, don't worry."

"I wasn't worried." CJ replied, "But are you staying because you want to or because you feel you have too? You don't owe us anything Donna."

"I'm staying because of me." Donna admitted. "I love this place as much as you guys. I don't make policy, but I help make it happen. And at the end of the day, that's what matters…right?"

"Right." CJ agreed.

"I owe Josh." Donna said softly, "I think that I always will."

"He owes you too."

Sighing, Donna looked at CJ sadly. "It's like a vicious cycle. I owe Josh for giving me a chance and he owes me for…"

"Helping him realize that he had a chance." CJ said gently.

Her eyes moving restlessly around the room, Donna blinked away her wet screens. "I wouldn't put it like that."

"I would."

Opening her misty eyes, Donna smiled sadly at CJ. "I don't want to become my mother, but sometimes…sometimes I can see her in me."

"You're nothing like your mother." CJ said sternly, "I've never met the woman, but I know this. You are Donnatella Moss. That's it. There is no other you."

"The problem is," Donna whispered, "there are days when I don't like _me_ very much."

"We all feel like that sometimes." CJ sighed.

"I want to be like you. Like Dr. Bartlet." Donna said smiling at CJ, "Strong and powerful women."

"You're still a spring chicken." CJ laughed, "I like you a lot more than I liked me when I was your age. God…I feel old."

Chuckling, Donna shook her head. "Don't. You're still young. You are delightful and delicious, remember?"

Laughing, CJ nodded her head in agreement. "That I am."

"And good in bed, if the Post wasn't quoting someone wrong."

Shaking her head in mock anger, CJ swallowed the last of her tea. "Come on, I think that we should go and get a drink. We need it. You go and get Josh and I'll get Spanky and Toby."

"Josh isn't here." Donna said curtly.

"He isn't?" CJ asked in surprise, "I just saw him."

"He left." Donna said looking down. "He called Amy Gardner up and they're getting together…or something."

"Oh." CJ said for a lack of anything else to say.

"Yeah."

"Well than it'll just be the four of us." CJ said trying to ward off the black cloud that had nestled itself over Donna's head. "We'll tease Sam and watch Toby give us his patented glare."

Smiling tightly at CJ, Donna shook her head slowly. "Not tonight CJ. I think I'm just going to go home and turn in."

"You sure?" CJ asked frowning, "I mean this in the nicest way, but you look like you need a drink…or two."

Laughing, Donna pulled herself up. "I'm sure. You go. Have fun."

Watching Donna's slumped shoulders get up, CJ heard the words come out of her mouth before she'd even realized that she'd spoken them. "He doesn't love her, you know."

"What?" Donna asked turning around.

"Josh and Amy Gardner." CJ clarified, "It's not going to last."

"It will." Donna countered sadly, "I think that Josh is in love."

"Josh is in a game," CJ scoffed, "and he wants to win."

Shaking her head stubbornly, Donna stood her ground. "He's determined to make this thing with Amy Gardner work. If he isn't in love, than what is it?"

Hearing the desperation in her voice, CJ stood up. "Josh saw something that he couldn't have and was determined to have it."

Something passed over Donna's face, but she masked her emotions to quickly for CJ to be able to read her. "I don't know…"

"It's the same as when he went out with Mandy. Amy dared him and Josh being the idiot that he is took it. Josh is quite stupid like that."

Shuffling her feet uncomfortably, Donna looked down at her now cold coffee. "I don't know. It's really none of my business."

"They're not right for each other." CJ added.

"Than who is right for Josh?" Donna asked suddenly and catching CJ off guard.

Conflicting emotions eating away at her, CJ let the Press Secretary in her win over that little voice that was screaming 'YOU! Donna, it's you.' in the back of her mind. "I don't know."

Nodding slowly, Donna stood up. "Me neither." she sighed as she left the room. 

---------

"Hey." Josh said pulling his door open. 

"J." Amy said brushing past him and tossing her bag carelessly down.

"You got here fast."

Looking up at him as she shed her coat, Amy shrugged. "It's the middle of the night. There really isn't much traffic this time of night. So what's up?"

"What?" Josh asked stupidly as he followed her into his living room.

"You called me." Amy pointed out with an annoyed tone, "I thought that there was some important reason you called me. So what's up J?"

"Nothing." Josh shrugged, "I just wanted to see you."

Raising an annoyed eyebrow, Amy crossed her arms. "You just wanted to see me? That's stupid. I saw you yesterday."

"It's stupid that I wanted to see you?" Josh asked incredulously. 

"Well, yeah J. You couldn't have waited until tomorrow? It's late and I'm tired." Amy pouted. 

Which Josh noted was nothing like Donna's pout. Hers was just annoying. Shaking his head, Josh frowned at Amy. "Well than, maybe you should just leave if you're so tired."

Her pout morphing into a scowl, Amy glared at Josh. "You're getting angry at me? You call me well after midnight and tell me to come over, and now you're kicking me out?"

"If you didn't want to come than you should have said so." Josh shot back. This was stupid. He should just tell her why he had called. What had happened tonight that had made him so upset that he'd grabbed the phone and called her right away. But it wasn't her anger and annoyance at him that was making him mad. It was the fact that she just couldn't tell that something was wrong. That he was upset about something. 

"Don't be an ass J." Amy snapped. "What is your problem tonight?"

"Nothing." Josh lied walking past Amy and settling himself down on the couch.

"Sure." Amy said sarcastically. "And I'm joining the RNC. Do you want to tell me what possessed you to call me?"

"Nothing. I just wanted to see you."

Frowning, Amy sat down beside Josh and kicked her feet up onto his coffee table. "Bull."

"Why don't you believe me?" Josh asked wiping around and glaring at Amy. "Is it so bizarre that I would want to spend time with you?"

"We both have work tomorrow J. I've got a 7 am meeting and Donna's no doubt got something scheduled for you."

Maybe if he'd actually been listening to her, he would have heard the distaste in her voice when she said Donna's name. But he wasn't listening, so he didn't catch it. "Donna got offered a job tonight."

Her eyes narrowing and her lips forming that long thin line that scared better men than him, Amy shook her head. "That's what's bothering you?"

"Why should it bother me?" Josh said feigning innocence. "It doesn't bother me." He should have just stopped there. But this was Josh, and well, there were days when he wasn't very bright. "What bothers me is that she's actually thinking about taking it! I mean, right now? Could she possibly pick a worst time?! I need her right now. So she'd make a little more money…would she be doing anything as important as what she's doing right now?"

"I can't believe this." Amy growled getting up. "You call me to come over so that I could listen to you talk about your _little_ assistant and her job offer?"

"What are you talking about?" Josh asked looking up at Amy's frowning face.

"That's why you called me, wasn't it? Because you needed to rant a little about your assistant being offered a job and have someone calm your deep dark fears that she'll leave you."

"Donna wouldn't leave me." Josh pointed out with more confidence than he felt.

"No," Amy said shortly, "of course not. Why would she leave you? She's too attached. And I'm starting to think that it goes both ways."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Josh asked standing up so that they would be on equal footing. Somewhere, he wasn't sure where exactly, this conversation had totally gotten out of control. At least his control anyway.

"I'm talking about you and _this thing_ between you and Donna." Amy snapped glaring at Josh. "I'm tired of it Josh. Maybe all those rumors that I hear are true."

"Okay really, I've never heard any of these rumors that you keep throwing at me." Josh frowned, "I'm starting to think that you made them up just to throw me off."

"And I'm starting to think that all the things that I've heard about you and Donna are true."

"What things?" Josh challenged.

"Do you really want to know what people say about your precious little assistant?" Amy asked her eyes blazing with anger, "All the theories on how she got her job exactly?"

"Okay," Josh said holding up his hand in warning, "don't say anything that you're going to regret."

"Why would I regret it?" Amy asked, "Who knows if they're actually true."

"Don't say anything about Donna." Josh warned through clenched teeth. "You can be mad at me, but this has nothing to do with Donna."

"Well aren't you just a natural prince charming?" Amy snapped, "Protecting your precious little princess…oops, I meant assistant."

"Donna is my friend." Josh said slowly and carefully. Trying in vain to keep his emotions in check. "She may be my assistant, but she's my friend first. Don't go spreading rumors because you don't understand our friendship."

"You're right Josh. I don't understand your friendship. Sometimes I wonder if there's more than the simple platonic friendship that you claim to have with her. She's your assistant Josh."

"What does that have to do with anything?" Josh asked sitting back down. "I can't be friends with Donna because she's my assistant?"

"You can't be in love with her."

"I am not in love with Donna." Josh stuttered looking up at Amy in surprise. "I really think that you're jumping the gun here."

"I don't think I am J." Amy sighed, "And you can't be in love with her."

"Why not?" Josh demanded, "Hypothetically, if I was in love with Donna, which I'm not, why can't I love her? Is it because she's my assistant? A woman who is not educated in the traditional sense? Cause really, if you're insinuating that Donna is not my equal, therefore cannot be in a relationship with me is absurd. A complete contradiction to what you do professionally. Aren't you always chanting on about equality and…" 

"Josh." Amy said cutting him off with a tone that he'd never heard before. It was tired and strained. 

"Yeah?" Josh asked looking up at her worn face.

Blinking slowly, Amy sat down tiredly beside him and looked down at her clenched hands. Sighing, she looked at him sadly. Her frown and glare replaced with a sad smile. "You can't love her because you're suppose to be in love with me."

Stunned, Josh blinked rapidly to try and convince himself that he wasn't imagining this. "Oh." He said stupidly. Josh was pretty sure that he resembled Gail at the moment. "Oh."

"Yeah." Amy sighed.

---------

"Let's go get drunk." CJ said slipping into Toby office.

Looking up from his desk, Toby frowned at CJ. "What?"

"It's been a long and stressful day. I've decided that life is too short and I don't enjoy it enough. Get up and get ready. I'm going to go and get Spanky and we are going to get nice and wasted." 

Rubbing his beard, Toby put down his pen. "Yeah, I heard. Sorry."

"Don't tell me sorry. Tell a newly widowed woman and her two children." CJ sighed leaning her hip against his desk.

"Still," Toby sighed, "sorry."

"Thanks." CJ said playing with the pen that Toby had just discarded. "So you coming?"

"Yeah." Toby nodded pushing himself away from his desk, "I could use a drink…or a dozen."

"That's the spirit!" CJ laughed, "I'm going to get Sam."

"What about Josh?" 

"According to Donna, he's out with Amy Gardner." CJ said with the same amount of distaste that Donna had used earlier.

Frowning, Toby looked down at his watch. "It's nearly 1 am. What the hell…"

"I don't know," CJ frowned waving Toby away. "and I don't care."

"Yes, I can tell from the tone of your voice that you don't care." Toby replied, his words laced with sarcasm.

"Hey, Josh is a grown man and can screw up his life however he wishes too."

"Yeah, I still don't believe you." 

Rolling her eyes, CJ frowned at Toby. "Get your stuff together. I am going to go and get Sam."

"And I'm going to call Josh."

Spinning around at the threshold, CJ grinned at Toby. "It's late and he's with Amy Gardner."

"Yeah?" Toby asked sarcastically.

"Yeah." CJ laughed.

"You told me that already CJ."

"It bears repeating since you're considering calling him." CJ pointed out.

"I'll keep that in mind as I dial his number." Toby deadpanned, "Get Donna too. She could probably use a drink."

"Some old college friend offered her a job." CJ blurted out.

"Yeah?" Toby asked trying to act indifference to this piece of information, but failing miserably. "Josh know?"

"Yeah." 

"So? How did he react?"

"According to Donna, there was no reaction." CJ scowled, "It seems that Josh is really _that_ stupid."

"They offer her money?"

"Of course!" CJ exclaimed.

"Did Josh have the decency to offer her anything?" Toby asked trying to think of what he could have possibly given her.

"A title bump."

"Yeah? What?"

"Her current title." CJ laughed.

"Dumbass." Toby said collecting various papers that were scattered around his desk.

"Yeah." CJ agreed. "I already asked Donna and she declined. Something about going home and…I don't know, sleeping."

"Call her again. Maybe she'll reconsider after you mention that Josh is coming."

"How can you be so sure that Josh is going to come?"

"I'm not." Toby shrugged, "But if she does come we can try and you know, cheer her up. She's seemed kind of, I don't know, down the last couple of days."

"You going soft on me?" CJ questioned smiling at Toby.

"Shut up and get out." Toby barked as he picked up his phone.

---------

Pulling her coat tighter around herself, Donna wandered lazily through the Mall. Occasionally passing by various tourist. Some giggling as they stumbled past her in search of their hotel and some just staring at the monuments in awe as they lit up the night sky. There was a time that she looked just like these awestruck tourist. Amazed and entranced by the glowing marble bathed by the moonlight and lustrous golden light. The massive stone structures came alive at night. Watching over the sleeping city as they shone a golden hue. When they'd first arrived in Washington as the new players in town, Josh had taken her out for an impromptu tour of this magnificent city. His city. He had shown her all the local gems. The best muffin place, Thai place and Mexican place. There had also been the cozy coffee shop just a few block away from the White House. It was his blatant, yet sweet attempt to try and get her to bring him coffee. Smiling at the memory, Donna didn't even notice the hand reach out in the darkness of the night and grab her.


	2. Out of chaos, brilliant stars are born.

Title: Dark Depths

Author: Lucy Mars

Rating: PG-13-ish?

Disclaimer: I don't own 'em. I'll play nice and return them when I'm done. Well...maybe not with Amy. ;]

*Post Night Five with a healthy dose of JoshandDonna-ness eventually. All you Amy lovers...run! ;] 

`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`

Jumping at the sound of his phone ringing shrilly, Josh scrambled to his feet when he processed the sound. "Sorry." he said unable to look Amy in the eye as he tried to scoot past her long legs. "I've got to get that."

Pursuing her lips, Amy moved her feet so that Josh could pass by. "Yeah." she sighed.

Grabbing the phone roughly, Josh pressed it to his ear. "Yeah?"

"Josh."

"Toby?"

"Josh."

"Toby?"

"We've established that." Toby growled.

"I'm kind of in the middle of something here Toby." Josh sighed running his hands through his hair and stealing a glance at Amy's back. "Please don't tell me that I need to come in."

"You don't need to come in."

"Okay," Josh said warily, "than why are you calling me at 1 in the morning?"

"We're going for drinks. You coming?"

"Ah… Toby?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm in the middle of something." Josh repeated.

"So you're not coming?" Toby asked unnecessarily.

"Toby." Josh sighed.

"Fine."

"Okay."

"Yeah."

"Toby?" Josh asked playing with the phone cord.

"Yeah?"

"Why are you guys going out for drinks." Josh asked lamely as he watched Amy sit perfectly still on his couch. He knew that he should probably be rushing back to her so that they could finish their conversation, and you know, address what she'd said, but he couldn't seem to make himself hang up. If that wasn't a sign that something was wrong, than he didn't know what was. 

"I think a better question would be why you're not rushing back to be ensorcelled." Toby said dryly.

"I'll talk to you later." Josh sighed hanging up before Toby could respond.

"Work?" Amy asked from her place on the couch.

"Yeah." Josh sighed making his way back to Amy. That wasn't lying. It was Toby calling from work…so technically it was work calling.

"Yeah?"

"Don't worry about it." Josh shrugged taking a seat on the couch but not right next to Amy. 'Hmm,' Josh thought looking at the distance between them, 'another sign that things aren't exactly what would be classified as good.'

---------

"He mad?" CJ asked leaning about Toby's door.

"More at himself." Toby said cryptically, "Donna coming?"

"Her cell started ringing on Josh's desk, I left a message on her machine and I paged her." CJ shrugged, "Hopefully she'll show."

"Sam's waiting." Toby said leading CJ out of his office.

"Did he yell?" CJ asked smiling at Toby.

"Nah." Toby smiled as he threw his phone at CJ. "Why don't you call him and see if he wants to come."

"You're an evil man Tobus!" CJ laughed flipping the phone open, "I knew there was a reason I loved you."

---------

Stumbling, Donna gasped in shock when she felt the rough hands grab her and pull her abruptly aside. She felt a scream climb her throat, but it died when a cold barrel roughly came in contact with her back. Stilling immediately, she felt her heart lurch painfully in her chest and fall to her stomach.

"Don't scream." the cold voice from behind her ordered, "Just do as I say and nobody gets hurt. Understand?"

Nodding blindly, Donna tried to form the words but she'd suddenly lost all power of speech.

"Understand?!" the voice demanded thrusting the cold barrel roughly against her shoulder and turning her around to face his detached eyes.

"Yes." Donna gasped feeling hot tears stinging her wide eyes. "Yes."

"Give me your purse." he demanded aiming the gun at Donna with cold eyes.

Untangling the strap from her shaking arm, Donna held it out fearfully and jumped when he grabbed the bag roughly. 

"Your pockets," he hissed, "empty them."

Pulling out a pack of gum and some loose change, Donna quickly handed it over.

"Your jewelry." he demanded pointing his gun at her.

With trembling hands, Donna pulled off her ring and the watch that Sam had given her for her birthday. 

"Necklace." he demanded tracing the chain with his gun.

Shivering at the feeling of the cold metal pressed against her bare skin, Donna fumbled with the delicate gold chain. Suddenly a cold hand pushed her hands away and snapped the chain off of her. Evoking a scream of terror from Donna.

"Quiet!" he yelled slapping Donna across the face.

Her balance already off, Donna fell to the ground when his cold hand and gun came in sudden contact with her cheek. Her face stinging, Donna looked up at him fearfully. She saw his dirty face staring back at her, and his disgusting leer. Her expression one of absolute horror, Donna managed to back away slowly. "That's all I have." she choked out through her sobs.

Sneering, he stuffed Donna's belongings into his pocket. "It's really not."

Backing away on all fours, Donna shook her head. "Please…no."

"Quiet!" he barked pointing his gun at Donna, "Just shut up!"

Whimpering in fear, Donna scrambled to her feet and looked around herself panicking.

"Don't even think about it!" he hissed pulling Donna violently against his dirty body.

Crying out in pain as his fingers dug into her flesh and bruised her, Donna struggled against him. "Just take my money and go." she pleaded.

"Oh," he hissed pulling Donna tighter against him and pressing his gun right against her stomach, "I'm going to take more than just your money."

Feeling her tears burn her eyes, Donna couldn't let him rape her. She wouldn't let him. Struggling against his grip, Donna felt his rough hands groping at her and she heard herself scream before she even realized what she was doing.

"Stupid bitch!" he yelled smashing the end of his gun against her temple.

Falling limply to ground, Donna felt his hands fall away from her and through the thick haze that had enveloped her she could hear voices yelling. Or was that her own voice, she wondered as the heavy black curtains fell over her eyes and her beeper began buzzing again on her belt.

---------

"So." Amy said shifting uncomfortably under Josh's gaze.

"Yeah, so." Josh echoed looking away from Amy.

"This is stupid." Amy declared getting up. "It's late and I am going to go home and sleep."

"Wait." Josh said stopping Amy, "You don't want to talk about…you know…it?"

"It what?" Amy asked irritated by Josh's behavior.

"About what you said." Josh stuttered.

"If you can't say it J., than I'm going to have to question your maturity."

"About, you know, me suppose…suppose…me being in love with you and not Donna." Josh stammered.

"Are you in love with Donna?" Amy asked.

"No." Josh answered to quickly.

Shaking her head, Amy tried to move past Josh. "You're lying."

"How do you know?" Josh challenged blocking her.

"I have an assistant too Josh, but I don't buy her flowers for our anniversary. Hell, I don't even know when she started working for me. I'm sure she doesn't remember either." Amy yelled glaring at Josh, "We don't go out for drinks together, we don't have inside jokes, we don't banter, and I sure as hell don't care who she dates."

"We're friends." Josh repeated lamely.

"Yes, you've pointed that out many times."

"So what?" Josh asked feeling his temper rise, "You're telling me that I can't be friends with Donna?"

"If somebody offered Stacy a job that was a good opportunity for her, I would completely support her if she decided to leave."

"Donna's not leaving me."

"Do you see what I mean?" Amy asked waving an accusingly finger at Josh.

"What?" Josh asked confused, "What did I do?"

"Why do you see it as Donna leaving you and not Donna leaving the White House?" Amy asked watching Josh intently.

Feeling his mouth go dry, Josh looked up at his ringing phone and back at Amy. "I'll be right back." Josh told her just before he fled the room.

---------

Throwing his head back and laughing, Sam shook his head at Toby and CJ after hearing what they'd been doing to Josh. "You guys must really hate Amy Gardner."

"We're doing it on principle Spanky." CJ defended holding up her drink.

"What happened to the sisterhood CJ?" Toby asked grinning at CJ over the rim of his glass.

"I appreciate what she does for women," CJ said, "but damn, that doesn't mean I have to like her. She treats Josh like dirt and I hate that 'Special J.' crap."

Laughing, Sam nodded his head in agreement. "She's also that this _lockjaw _thing going on."

"You noticed that too?!" CJ asked slapping Sam on the arm, "Doesn't it drive you crazy?"

"There's not much about Amy Gardner that doesn't drive me crazy." Sam said sipping his bear, "And this relationship isn't about anything more than a chase. For both of them."

"That's what I told Donna." CJ said nodding her head in agreement.

"And what's Donna's theory on Josh and Amy Gardner?" Toby asked curiously.

"She thinks that Josh is in love." CJ frowned looking up at the door and expecting to see Donna magically appear.

"He has been strutting around a lot lately." Toby pointed out.

"Not his usual strut though." Sam added.

Raising an amused eyebrow, Toby smiled at his deputy. "Spend a lot of time analyzing Josh's strut there Sam?"

Rolling his eyes, Sam drank his beer. "I don't know, it just seems forced. Like he's doing it on purpose."

"Sam…" Toby laughed.

"No, no." CJ said jumping in, "Sam has a point."

"Oh god," Toby groaned, "CJ's had to much to drink already. She's agreeing with Sam."

"Shut up." CJ said hitting Toby, "Sam, I think that you have a point. So you think that there's trouble in paradise?"

"How about I find out?" Sam asked digging his cell phone out.

Exchanging a quick looking with Toby, CJ burst out laughing and nodded. "Do it Spanky!"

---------

Sighing, Josh resisted the urge to grab Amy and shake her. After the call from CJ, they'd just been sitting on his couch. Amy wasn't talking to him after he'd gotten off the phone. It'd been 15 fun filled minutes of, "Amy…" and "Don't talk to me." Not exactly a record for them, but Josh had a feeling that they were going to set a new record tonight.

The sound of the phone ringing echoed through the quiet apartment. 

"I am going to answer the phone. If you have an objections you should voice them now." Josh said getting up. The only reaction he got was a cold glare. "Okay." Josh said making his way into his kitchen. "Hello?"

"Hey Josh!"

"Sam?" Josh asked listening to the loud background music, "Where are you?"

"Having drinks with CJ and Toby. Want to join us?"

Groaning, Josh hit his head against the wall. "Sam, I've already told Toby no. I told CJ no. What made you think that I was going to say yes to you?"

"I'm feeling lucky tonight?" 

"Sam, to much information."

Laughing, Sam smiled at CJ and Toby. "Trouble in paradise Josh?"

Listening to the sudden laughter from CJ and Toby, Josh shook his head, "You guys are so wasted."

"We're really not." Sam pointed out sound very sober but giddy. "We just got here."

"Donna there?" Josh found himself asking suddenly.

"No, she's not. Maybe later. We keep paging her, but she's not replying."

"You think she's okay?" Josh asked feeling a knot form in his stomach.

"I'm sure she's fine. So you coming or not?"

"Not tonight Sam. Bye."

"You never answered my question!" Sam protested.

"I know Sam." Josh laughed, "Night." he said hanging up the phone. Turning around, Josh jumped when he found Amy standing right behind him. "Jesus!"

"How's Donna?" Amy asked careful to keep her voice neutral.

"That was Sam." Josh pointed out needlessly.

"I know."

"Donna isn't even out with them."

"Where do you think she is than?"

"I don't know." Josh said shrugging uncomfortably. "I thought that you weren't talking to me."

"I changed my mind." Amy said challenging Josh to challenge her.

"Okay." Josh said looking around uncomfortably, "So now what?"

Pinning him against the wall, Amy kissed Josh soundly.

'Okay,' Josh thought as Amy kissed him, 'Donna is the queen of misdirection and Amy is the queen of mixed signals.'

---------


	3. None love the bearer of bad news.

Title: Dark Depths

Author: Lucy Mars

Rating: PG-13-ish?

Disclaimer: I don't own 'em. I'll play nice and return them when I'm done. Well...maybe not with Amy. ;]

*Post Night Five with a healthy dose of JoshandDonna-ness eventually. All you Amy lovers...run! ;] Be warned: I LIKE DRAMA!!..........and happy endings. ;) 

**** Quick Authors Note: Thank You for ALL of the AMAZING reviews!! You guys are so SWEET!!****

`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`

"Hey!" Dylan yelled running up to the struggling shadows in the distance. He had heard a woman's scream pierce the cold night air and the hair on the back of his neck stood up. 

A dark face shot up and shone under the yellow street lamp. When he realized that he'd been caught, he left the woman and ran. Fast.

"Jesus!" Dylan hissed when he saw an unconscious woman sprawled on the dirt and her pale face streaked with blood. Looking up at the figure that was running away, Dylan pulled out his cell phone. "This is Officer Lewis. I need an ambulance."

Pulling off his sweatshirt and balling it up, Dylan balanced his phone between his chin and shoulder as his experienced hands gently skimmed her blood soaked hair trying to find the source of all this blood. "I have a young woman in her late twenties with a head wound." Dylan said as he tried to apply enough pressure.

Holding his sweatshirt against her head, he quickly searched her body for other wounds and stopped surprised when his bloody fingers brushed up against a plastic badge. Holding it up, he was surprised to see the White House Symbol and a smiling face look back at him, "Shit." He cursed under his breath as his bloody fingers stained the badge and the smiling face. 

His head whipping around as a familiar siren split the silence of the night and painted the sky red and blue, Dylan sighed in relief. Help was coming. Her body suddenly twisting under his hands, Dylan tried to soothe the young woman. "It's okay. You're going to be okay."

Moaning, Donna felt the cold hard ground beneath her as a pair of gentle hands held her. Through the throbbing in her head, she managed to gasp before the pain made her black out. "Josh…"

"He'll be here soon." Dylan soothed pushing her bloody hair back and trying to get a better look at her wound. "You'll see him soon." he promised looking down at the young woman, "I promise."

---------

"Let's call Donna again." Toby suggested leaning back against his seat. "I mean, I thought that we were going to cheer her up…or something."

"Toby," CJ laughed, "you _are _going soft on me."

"Shut up," Toby grumbled, "and just page her."

"Okay, okay." CJ laughed sharing a smile with Sam as she pulled out her phone.

---------

"Are you all right?" a paramedic asked gently pulling Dylan up and away from Donna so that his partner could treat her.

Looking at the medic in surprise, Dylan shook his head. "I'm fine."

"You're covered in blood." he pointed out.

Shaking his head, Dylan looked down at his blood stained clothes and hands. "It's all hers." Shielding his eyes against the sudden light from a squad car, Dylan nodded at the officers who stepped out. "Hey boys."

"Boss?" Connor asked taking in his Captains bloody appearance, "What the hell happened to you?"

Raising an eyebrow at badge that he was clutching and the woman that the paramedics were treating, Hannah reached for her radio. "Get an AP out yet?"

"Didn't get a good enough look at the bastard." Dylan said following Hannah's eyes.

"You okay?" Hannah asked taking in his disheveled appearance.

"He ran the moment I yelled." Dylan shrugged. "It's all her blood."

"Do we know who she is?" Connor asked

Holding up the badge, Dylan wiped away her blood and got a good look at her name. "Donnatella Moss. From the White House."

"Officer!" the paramedic yelled getting their attention.

"Yeah?" Dylan asked.

"Her pager is blowing up." the paramedic said holding up a black pager with his blood stained hand, "Someone's trying to find her."

---------

"Finally!" CJ laughed when her phone started to ring shrilly. Flipping it open, she held it against her ear and tried to shush Toby and Sam with one hand. Not an easy task, considering she was holding a full beer with that hand. "Donna?"

"No ma'am. May I know who this is please?"

"As soon as I know who this is." CJ shot back giving Toby and Sam a funny look.

"Ma'am, my name is Officer Dylan Lewis. Do you know one Donnatella Moss? You're number was the last one to page her."

Feeling her mouth go dry, CJ put her glass down before she dropped it.

"Ma'am? Are you with still with me?"

"Yes, I'm here." CJ said feeling her stomach clench painfully. "Is Donna all right?" 

Both Toby and Sam felt their own hearts drop when they heard CJ ask about Donna. Something was wrong.

"Ma'am, I suggest that you get down to G.W as quickly as possible."

---------

"Okay." Josh said with a dazed look as Amy pulled away. "That wasn't what I was expecting."

"What were you expecting?"

"Not that." Josh said looking down at Amy. "What was that for?"

"I just wanted to remind myself why I'm still here." Amy said shrugging her shoulders carelessly.

"I really don't get you." Josh sighed rubbing his forehead.

"Many people don't."

"Imagine my shock." Josh said dryly. "So _why_ are you still here? I'd thought that you'd storm out by now. Cursing my name all the way back to your place. Since you're so convinced that I'm in love with Donna."

"Why did you ask me out Josh?" Amy asked catching him off guard.

"Because I wanted too?" Josh answered lamely.

"Why did you ask me to Tahiti?"

"Because it seemed like a good idea at the time?"

Sighing, Amy rested her hands on Josh's chest. "Josh, do you..."

For what felt like the millionth time that night, the phone rang. This time causing both Josh and Amy to jump, considering they were right beside it.

Reaching out instinctively, Josh was surprised when Amy's hand stopped him. "Amy?"

"Don't answer it Josh."

"When my phone rings in the middle of the night, it's usually important." Josh said trying to reach for the phone.

"You're phone has rung countless times tonight and not once has it been important."

"It could be Leo." Josh said side stepping Amy and earning a frown.

"Or Donna." she countered watching Josh reach for the phone.

"Maybe." Josh acknowledged.

"Don't answer it J." Amy warned.

Picking up the phone, Josh held it to his ear as he watched Amy storm out of his apartment, "Hello?"

"Josh?"

"Toby," Josh said feeling his irritation with the whole night reach it's climax, "what could you possibly want..."

"Josh." Toby said gently cutting Josh off.

Feeling the knot that had been sitting in his stomach all night tighten to an agonizing point, Josh clutched the phone. "What is it Toby?"

"It's Donna, Josh." Toby said putting a reassuring hand on CJ's shaking shoulder as Sam navigated the deserted streets. "Something's happened to Donna. Get to G.W."

Feeling his breath catch painfully in his chest, Josh gripped the receiver till his knuckles were white. The blood rushed through his ears and the warmth drained out of his body.

"Josh?" Toby asked snapping him out of mini trance. "Josh?"

"Yeah?" Josh asked numbly.

"Get in a cab and get to G.W." Toby said gently. 

"I'll...I'll be there...I can be there in..." 

"Don't drive yourself Josh." Toby said sternly. "Call a cab. Don't drive yourself."

"I can drive!" Josh snapped.

"Donna needs you right now." Toby said softening his tone. "What good will you be if something happens? Get a cab."

"I'll be right there." Josh promised gripping the phone. "Toby?"

"Yeah?"

"What happened?"

"I don't know." Toby sighed.

"Toby?"

"Yeah?" he asked catching Sam's tight face in the rearview mirror.

"If you see her before I do, can you tell her I'm coming?"

"I will." Toby promised as Sam pulled the car right up to G.W. and parked in the first space that he found. They weren't Dr. Wood, but right now, it didn't matter. Toby would play the White House card if he had to. "Come on." Toby said leading a wary Sam and ashen CJ into G.W.

---------


	4. Cabs and Dreams

Title: Dark Depths

Author: Lucy Mars

Rating: PG-13-ish?

Disclaimer: I don't own 'em. I'll play nice and return them when I'm done. Well...maybe not with Amy. ;]

*All you Amy lovers...run! ;] Thank you for all the reviews!! They're great! Inspiring even. *ahem* *hint hint, nudge nudge* 

CHAPTER #4:

Grabbing his wallet and stuffing it into his back pocket, Josh sprinted out of his apartment. Leaving the lights blaring and the stove on for all he knew. All he could think about was getting to Donna. All he needed was to get to her side as quickly as humanly possible. He would take a breath as soon as he could look at her and see her give him that amazing smile. Hear her laugh and let her tell him that he was worrying about nothing. Let her dissolve the lead weight that had fallen on his heart with her wondrous laughter. Donna had to be all right. She just had to be. If she wasn't…than Josh didn't know what he was going to do. 

Stumbling down the cold steps, Josh nearly crashed into a warm body.

"Took you long enough."

"Amy?" Josh asked breathless. Running while his heart was speeding away at a hundred miles an hour with worry probably wasn't a good idea. Donna was scold him if she knew. Donna. He had to get to Donna. Arching his neck up, Josh tried to make out the familiar yellow taxi. What was taking it so long to get here?

"J.?" Amy asked snapping him out of his Donna induced trance. "J. are you even listening to me?"

"Not right now Amy." Josh snapped quickly jumping down the rest of the steps and shooting nervous glances up and down the road. 

"What are you doing out here?" Amy asked crossing her arms. "If you came out after me just admit it." she said smiling smugly at him. "No need to pretend that you didn't."

"I really didn't." Josh said feeling his breath catch when a car passed by them and washed the street with a brief white glow. Where the hell was his cab?! Donna needed him and he couldn't get to her. He needed to get to her.

"Than why are you out here?"

"I'm waiting for a cab." Josh growled turning his agitated face at Amy. "Why the hell do you think I'm out here?"

Her lips forming a long tight line, Amy narrowed her eyes at Josh. "Donna was the one who called…wasn't it? She called and you go running."

"Not.Now.Amy." Josh said in measured tones. "Just don't. You want to pick a fight? Do it later."

"You're pathetic, you know that? I mean, Donna calls and does her damsel in distress crap and you go running like a…"

"Amy," Josh said putting up his hand harshly, "just shut up."

"If you think that I'm going to continue to play second fiddle to you, than you're dumber than I thought J." Amy snapped. "You want to be with Donna? Fine. But I was right. You are just a hit and run guy."

His heart twisting at the mention of 'hit and run' Josh couldn't help but let his frantic mind run away with the thought. Had Donna been in a car accident? He'd told her to get a new car. Hers was an antique. He should have driven her home. He _knew _that she was upset after hearing the news. Hell, they all were. Swallowing heavily, Josh tried to clear the images from his mind. Donna had to be all right. She had to be. He had to believe that.

"J."

"Yeah?" Josh answered distractedly as he tried to will his taxi to arrive.

"Go to hell." Amy spat out as she turned on her heel and stalked away to her car.

Watching her walk away, Josh felt his adrenaline spike when a familiar yellow taxi rolled down his street. "I'd go if that meant that Donna would be all right." Josh said to no one in particular as he slipped into the warm car.

"Where to buddy?"

"G.W. Fast." Josh said handing the cabbie a nice tip. 

---------

Stumbling into the emergency room, Josh didn't have time to ward off the 

horrible memories of Rossyln. His mind was too wrapped around finding Donna and extinguishing that awful feeling in the pit of his stomach. Knowing that someone that you cared about was hurt was one thing. Not knowing was another. His eyes furiously scanning the overflowing emergency room, Josh nearly jumped out of his skin when a firm hand fell on his shoulder. 

"Josh." Sam said leading him through the crowd.

"Where is she?" Josh asked breathlessly. "Is Donna okay? What happened?"

Leading Josh back to the waiting room that the nurse had lead them too when people recognized them, Sam looked up at Toby and CJ. He didn't know what to say. His own mind was still running in circles and trying to grasp the situation. 

"Sam?" Josh asked clutching at his arms desperately. "Where's Donna? What happened?"

"I don't know." Sam said shaking his head, "We don't know anything yet."

"Sir, I think that I can answer your questions."

Turning around at the firm, yet gentle voice, Josh nearly lost his cookies when he saw the dry blood staining Donna's White House I.D badge. "Oh god…"

"Josh." Sam said leading his pale friend to one of the seats, "Sit down."

Feeling his knees give out, Josh looked up at the man who was holding Donna's bloody I.D badge. "What happened?"

"My name is Officer Dylan Lewis. I was the one who found Miss. Moss and called you Miss. Cregg."

"What happened?" Josh asked desperate for information.

"It seems that Miss. Moss was being mugged. We think that there was a struggle between the two when the mugger tried to rape Miss. Moss."

A small gasp escaped CJ's pale lips.

"She sustained a head wound that looks to have been caused by the butt of a gun. The doctors are optimistic about her condition. She's just been taken up for a CT. A doctor will be here soon to give you her condition. I'm here because I need to ask you all a few questions."

"What kind of questions?" Sam asked eyeing the police officer suspiciously.

"On the surface this looks like a simple mugging," Dylan said treading lightly, "but I just need to know a few basic things about Miss. Moss so that we can rule out a few things."

"What do you want to know?" Toby asked squeezing CJ's hand. 

"Well, has Miss. Moss acquired any enemies over the past few weeks?"

"No." Josh said immediately. "Donna's a good person. Nobody would want to hurt her."

"Has there been anything erratic about her behavior lately?" Dylan asked.

"No." Josh answered again.

"Okay." Dylan said holding the bloody badge in his hand. "I just have one more question."

"What?" Josh asked watching Dylan absently move the badge between his fingers. Fingers that had dried blood caked beneath his nails. Donna's blood, Josh though blanching slightly.

"This is going to sound odd," Dylan said shifting uncomfortably, "but is Miss. Moss married or dating anyone?"

"No." Josh said more harshly than he intended too, "Why would you ask that?"

"It's just that before she passed out she asked for Josh." Dylan said looking at the three men in the room. "I promised her I'd find Josh."

"That's me." Josh said softly feeling the blood pound painfully in his head. Roaring and drowning out everything else, "That's me."

---------

Pacing the halls, CJ felt trapped. No matter how many times she walked up and down the hall, the walls still felt like they were closing in one her. She was trapped. Like she was being suffocated by the sterile environment.

"You're going to wear a hole in the floor." Toby said as he stepped out of the waiting room. "Why don't you come back in and sit for awhile?"

"I shouldn't have let her leave Toby. I should have insisted that she come with us." CJ said ignoring Toby's suggestion to sit down, "If I'd just insisted that she came with us, than she would be okay. Donna would have been okay."

"CJ." Toby said catching her arm, "Don't beat yourself up. This isn't your fault. This isn't Donna's fault. If anyone is to blame than it's the psycho who mugged her."

"Toby, if I'd just…"

"Don't." Toby said firmly, "Don't beat yourself up. Nobody could have seen this coming. It happened. We'll deal with it. Donna will be okay."

"It shouldn't have happened." CJ said shaking her head.

"I know." Toby said pulling her in for a hug. "I know. But the doctors are optimistic. Donna's got a hard head. She's got to have one to work with Josh."

Laughing through her tears, CJ nodded. "Yeah."

---------

"Here." Sam said handing Josh a hot cup of coffee.

Looking at the steaming cup that Sam held out, Josh felt his mouth dry up. "You brought me coffee."

"Drink it." Sam ordered. "It'll make you feel a little better."

Taking it, but not drinking it, Josh looked down into the dark depths. Willing it to give him all the answers. 

"Donna is going to be okay." Sam said trying to calm Josh's unspoken fears.

"How do you know that?" Josh asked softly, "You heard the officer. She sustained a head wound Sam."

"Donna's to stubborn to be taken down by a mugger." 

"Yeah." Josh agreed.

"She's not going to let some asshole ruin her life. Donna's strong."

"She is. She's tough." Josh said a soft smile touching his lips. "Determined."

"She's going to be okay." Sam said rubbing Josh's shoulder. "She's going to be okay."

"Is this what it felt like to wait for me?" Josh asked suddenly.

His eyes shooting up in surprise, Sam was taken back by Josh's question. "Josh…"

"Was it?"

Sam didn't like thinking about that night, but he owed that much to Josh. "Yeah. Worse."

"I'm sorry." Josh said sincerely.

"Don't be. You survived. That's all we wanted. All we asked for."

Nodding his head, Josh felt this throat close up when a doctor ushered CJ and Toby back into room. He wasn't ready to hear what the doctor had to say, but he would. Because Donna needed him, and he needed to know.

---------

The heat burned straight into her head. It was hotter than anything she could have imagined. Any second now she'd go up into flames. Her eyes were watering with the intensity of the heat and her head was throbbing. No, Donna thought blinking through her hazy vision. It was a light. Light that was too bright, too strong and too intense. It burned beneath her eyelids. She tried to turn away and shield her face but it hurt to much to move. What was going on?

"Donna? Can you hear me? Donna? Open your eyes."

Of course she could hear him. He was using that amazing voice to his. It made her skin tingle because even through the pain induced fog surrounding her brain, she could hear the hint of tenderness in his worried tone. Donna wanted to say something to reassure him, but her mouth was too dry and everything hurt so much. 

"Donnatella?"

Oh poor Josh. He was worried. She could hear the panic and strain when he gently uttered her name. She tried to form the words, but no sound came out.

"Give her some water."

CJ? Was that CJ? Either this was one really odd dream, or CJ was in the room. Someone raised her head. Donna could feel cold water on her lips and desperately tried to open her mouth. She choked, then slowed down. Donna drank and drank the heavenly cold water until finally the water was dribbling down her chin.

"Now can you talk to me?"

"The light." Donna whispered, "Please, the light."

"It must be hurting her." CJ said reaching over Josh and flicking off the harsh overhead lamp.

The light was gone the next instant and it was now shadowy and dim. Donna sighed with relief. The pain subsided but not enough to be constituted as bearable.   
"That's better. Josh?"

"I'm right here." Josh said his face lit by the light seeping in from the open door. "How you feeling?"

"Like crap." Donna said trying to move her head to get a better look at Josh. Her flinch didn't go unnoticed.

"Try and stay still." Josh soothed shifting so that she could see him better as he rubbed her hand.

"What happened?" Donna asked trying to piece together the jumbled bits of her memory. "Where am I?"

"You're at G.W." CJ said casting a quick look at Josh. "Do you remember what happened Donna?"

Her mind registering CJ's words, Donna opened her eyes in alarm and looked up at Josh.

Shaking his head, Josh gave Donna's trembling hand a reassuring squeeze. "I'm okay Donna. You're the one I'm worried about. Do you remembered what happened?"

"Remember what?" Donna asked feeling her head throb harder and harder. "Why does my head hurt so much? God, it hurts."

"I'll go find a doctor. Let them know that she's awake." CJ said hurrying out of the room. This was a hospital. There was bound to be some doctor…you know, somewhere.

"It's okay Donna. Everything's gonna be okay." Josh said gently rubbing her arm. "You don't remember what happened?"

"No."

"Okay." Josh said swallowing hard. "You were mugged Donna. Do you remember?"

Trying to focus on Josh, Donna felt the room start to spin around them. The walls were moving and the floor was shifting beneath them both. Closing her eyes when it became too much, Donna tried to focus on the warmth of Josh's hand. The strength that she felt when his fingers intertwined with hers.

"Donna? Donna, are you okay?"

His voice sounded so far away, but Donna could feel his warm breath tickle her cheek. He was so close. His cologne filled her senses and calmed her frayed nerves. 

"You need to stay awake Donna." Josh pleaded, "Just wait for the doctor to come and check you out. Than you can sleep for as long as you want too. I'll even let you come in late today, Donna. Just hold on."

Feeling her lips tug upwards, Donna struggled to open her tired eyes. "You're a slave driver."

His own lips mirroring her smile, Josh felt relief flood him. If they were bantering, than everything was all right. Wasn't it? "I may even be persuaded to refrain from yelling for you for a couple of days."

"It hurts Josh." Donna whimpered feeling the pain intensify and wash over her sore body. "I can't see."

"Open your eyes Donna." Josh ordered leaning closer to Donna and feeling panic edge out his short lived relief.

"That's not it."

In the next second, Donna was unconscious and her head lolled to the side. Josh had never yelled for a doctor so loudly in his entire life.

---------

Sprinting to the nurses station, CJ had never been so grateful to see people in scrubs her entire life. There was once a time when she was sure her stomach would churn when interacting with medical personnel. "Donna Moss. She's awake. We need a doctor."

"Cheryl page Dr. Beaker and find Officer Lewis." Nurse O'Neil said following CJ back to Donna's room. "She just wake up?"

"Yeah." CJ said walking at a fast clip. "We gave her water. Was that okay? Were we allowed to give her water?"

"Yes. Water's fine. I'm sure that she was grateful for it." 

Before CJ could even register that happy thought Josh's loud voice filled the quiet wing. Snapping to attention, CJ ran after Nurse O'Neil and into Donna's dark room.

"Josh?" CJ asked running to Donna's bedside.

"What's going on?" Josh demanded moving when the nurse gently nudged him so that she could examine Donna. "She was just awake and she blacked out. What's going on? Is she okay?"

"Josh." CJ said pulling him back as a doctor and another nurse flew into the room. "Let them check her over."

His eyes never leaving Donna, Josh shook his head. "She has to be okay CJ."

"She will be." CJ said with more confidence than she felt. "She will be."

---------

Listening to the rhythmic ringing of his cell phone, Toby restlessly paced the dark street in front of G.W while keeping an eye on Sam. "You should go back up."

"Not yet." Sam sighed rubbing his tired eyes. "I can't…can't go back in just yet."

"Okay." Toby shrugged pacing the well worn asphalt, as the ringing stopped. "Okay."

"Hello?"

"Leo. It's Toby."

"It's 4 in the morning Toby. What could you possibly want?" Leo growled still half asleep.

"I'm at G.W."

"What?" Leo asked snapping to attention.

"We're at G.W." Toby clarified.

"Define 'we'. And what the hell are you doing at G.W at 4 in the morning?"

"It's Donna." Toby sighed pacing faster and faster. "She was mugged and brought in with a head wound."

"Jesus." Leo spit out sitting up, "Is she all right?"

"I don't know." Toby frowned. He hated not knowing. He hated waiting. And most of all, he hated being afraid. "We don't know."

"Josh okay?" Leo asked thinking about his deputy.

"What do you think?" Toby asked laughing bitterly. "Being in G.W is probably bad enough. Add in the fact that something's wrong with Donna."

"You need me?"

"No." Toby replied, "I'm just calling to give you a heads up. I…Leo…I didn't want you to hear from someone else."

"Okay." Leo said grabbing some clothes. "Okay."

"I'll call you once we know something." Toby said nudging Sam to scoot over a little on the cold bench. "Leo?"

"Yeah?"

"There was blood all over her White House badge." Toby whispered feeling a wave of nausea wash over him. "Donna needs a new one. The police took it as evidence."

"I'll get her another one." Leo promised catching his reflection in the mirror. When did he start to look so much older? "Toby?"

"Yeah?"

"Did he…" swallowing down the lump in his throat, Leo sat down tiredly. "Was Donna…"

"No." Toby said clutching his phone and sitting down heavily beside Sam.. "No. Donna wasn't raped."

"Okay." Leo sighed, "Okay. Call me again in an hour."

"What if we don't know anything in an…"

"Call me anyway." Leo said cutting Toby off. "Just check in every hour."

"Okay." Toby said snapping his cell phone shut.

"Leo okay?" Sam asked starring up at the night sky.

"No. I'd be worried if he was."

"We should probably go back up but…" Sam said trailing off.

"I'm not ready either." Toby admitted following Sam's gaze. "I'm not ready either."

"But Josh needs us." Sam pointed out feeling guilt eat away at him.

"CJ's probably pacing the halls again." Toby replied rising and leading Sam back into the hospital.

"Donna's going to be okay…right?" Sam asked resembling a small child with his big blue eyes.

"I…I don't know Sam." Toby said holding the elevator door open for him, "But I sure hope so."


	5. Hope is a waking dream.

Title: Dark Depths

Author: Lucy Mars

Disclaimer: As much as I wish and wish...it won't come true. Alas, I don't own them. I'll play nice and return them when I'm done. Well...maybe not with Amy. ;]

*All you Amy lovers...run! ;] 

Chapter #5

Patience, Josh had learned, wasn't something that he had much of. However, when it came to Donna he would wait forever. The doctors, not so much. "Is Donna okay?"

Snapping off his latex gloves, Dr. Beaker didn't even flinch at the tone of Josh's voice. He'd heard it too much over the years. More than he cared to count. "Considering everything that Ms. Moss has been through tonight, she is doing wonderfully."

"But what just happened?" CJ asked wrapping a supportive arm around Josh.

"It was just the intensity of the pain." Dr. Beaker explained, "It's a reaction that the body has when the pain become too much. We've given her something to make her a little more comfortable."

"So Donna's going to be okay?" Josh asked anxiously.

"When Ms. Moss first came in we did a CT scan. Not to worry," Dr. Beaker assured as the two paled significantly, "it was normal. We always do a CT scan when there's a head injury, to check for evidence of internal bleeding. There was none."

"What about all the blood?" Josh asked thinking about Donna's belongings and how sullied they were. 

"Scalp wounds tend to really bleed. She didn't need any stitches. Just some of my magic tape." Dr. Beaker said trying to reassure Josh, "I'll come by and look at her a little later."

"Okay." Josh said breathing a sigh of relief, "Okay. Can I see her?'

"Of course." Dr. Beaker said moving aside so that Josh could get back to Donna's side. 

"I'm going to go and find Sam and Toby." CJ said catching Josh's arm, "Let them know that Donna's okay."

"Okay." Josh said rushing back into Donna's room and breathing a sigh of relief when he saw her. Closing the door gently behind him, Josh slowly made his way to her side and just starred at her peaceful face for god knows how long. He stood there looking down at her, white and bandaged with an IV in her arm. His fingers lightly tracing her warm face, Josh felt his hands clench into a fist when his eyes feel on the stark green on her pale jaw. Sitting down, Josh tugged his chair till it was right up against the side of Donna's bed. Leaning against the soft mattress, Josh laid his tired head down and just listened carefully to her breathing. It was the most soothing and wonderful sound that he'd ever heard. There were a million things running through his mind, but the sound of her steady breaths and the feeling of her warm hand pressed against his cold cheek was more than enough to lull him to sleep. Donna was okay and that was all that mattered. 

-----------

"Is Donna okay?" Sam asked when he spotted CJ.

"She's fine." CJ said smiling lightly. "The doctor just told us that she's going to be just fine. CT showed no internal bleeding."

"Thank god." Sam said feeling relief flood him. He couldn't imagine how Josh must be feeling. "Josh with her?"

"Yeah. Call Leo?"

"Yeah." Toby said rubbing his beard. "We need to check in every hour."

"Okay." CJ sighed rubbing her eyes. "What a night, huh?"

"Yeah." Sam agreed. 

"Donna's going to be okay." Toby repeated trying to reassure himself.

"Yeah." Sam and CJ said smiling. 

"Good." Toby said smiling along with them, "Good."

"I agree." CJ laughed. 

"We need to buy her some pepper spray, or something." Toby said frowning when the image of her blood stained badge resurfaced. 

"Or one of those alarm things." Sam said thinking about the report on Abuse Against Women that he'd read a couple of weeks ago.

"How about we find some coffee first?" CJ asked rubbing her tired eyes. "I could use some coffee."

"You guys go." Sam said shaking his head, "I'm going to go and check on Josh and find out what Donna's gonna need from her apartment. She'll probably want some pajamas…or something."

"Good idea Spanky." CJ said smiling at Sam.

---------

Blinking rapidly to clear her blurry vision, Donna gulped air desperately as her lungs drank hungrily. Her eyes jumped around the dimly lit room as she frantically scanned for any possible danger. Her harsh breaths echoed through the dim room and fueled the panic that was coursing through her hot blood. It was still too fresh. Her nightmare was still raging on in her mind. She could still feel his cold hands gripping her body and bruising her. His leer and threats were still fresh in her mind.

Twitching, Donna tried to form two fists when her right hand brushed against something warm. Looking down, Donna furiously blinked away her hot tears. Reaching out tentatively, Donna lightly touched Josh's sleeping face. Smiling despite her smothering anxiety, Donna let her shaking fingers trace the soft contours of his face. There was something comforting about having Josh nearby. His presence calmed her, because he was Josh. He was going to catch her if she fell. Listening to his even breaths, Donna timed her own ragged breaths to his. Slowing down her racing heart and raging emotions, Donna concentrated on the texture of Josh's cheek and how his lips curved into a soft smile under her touch. Trying to push away the still fresh nightmare. The suffocating fear. Listening to the hypnotic beats of her monitors and Josh's rhythmic breathing, Donna finally fell asleep after what felt like an interminable amount of time. 

---------

Standing under the soft shadows, Sam watched Josh and Donna as they slept. Even when under the sandman's spell, they were connected. Their breathing, like everything else about them, was in tune. Like they were sharing a pair of lungs along with a heart. It was cliched, but it was times like this when Sam could see that they were clearly nothing more than two halves of a greater one. He felt his heart reach out in yearning as he watched Donna unconsciously reach out for Josh in her sleep. He wanted that connection. He wanted to find that kind of love. The hard part wasn't waiting, Sam had learnt over the years. The hard part was holding out hope that one day you would find that other half. He, along with every other person in the world was looking. It wasn't fair that Josh and Donna just found each other. As much as he longed for that connection, Sam knew that what Josh and Donna had was bitter sweet. Turning around, Sam softly closed the door behind him. He felt like he was invading their privacy watching the two while their defenses were down. When they weren't hiding for the world and most importantly, when they weren't hiding from themselves. 

---------

"Drink this." 

Taking the steaming cup from Toby, CJ looked around the empty lounge. "I never thought that I would ever come back here."

"Yeah." Toby grunted sitting down beside CJ, "I know what you mean."

"At least this time it's good news." CJ sighed. "It's good news."

"It was good news last time."

Titling her head, CJ frowned down at Toby. "How?"

"Josh was alive." Toby said sipping his coffee. "The good news was that Josh was alive."

"Yeah." CJ agreed staring off into the dark depths of her coffee. "Yeah."

"Maybe this place isn't so bad after all." 

Laughing, CJ drank her coffee. "Maybe."

"The press is going to pick this up." Toby frowned, "Four highly visible members of the White House senior staff at G.W. I'm surprised nobody's been lurking the halls yet."

"I'm going to get a question." CJ agreed. 

"Yeah."

"What do you want me to say?"

Rubbing his eyes, Toby tried to erase the image of Donna's blood stained badge and Josh's blood stained chest out of his head. 

"Toby?" CJ asked worriedly.

"Yeah?" Toby answered pulling himself out of his funk. "Yeah."

"What do you want me to say?"

Sighing, Toby drank his coffee. "I don't know."

"Okay." CJ said nodding her head. "Okay."


	6. Sometimes the deepest scars are the ones...

Title: Dark Depths

Author: Lucy Mars

Disclaimer: I don't own 'em......but I promise to play nice. Well not with Amy...cause frankly I don't like her. ;] You're all _shocked_, I can tell. ;}

*JoshandDonna-ness. I'm a shipper at heart. You've been warned. ;] 

****

Chapter #6

"Josh." CJ whispered gently tapping him on the shoulder. Careful not to wake Donna. "Josh."

"Hmm?" Josh mumbled.

"Joshua. Wake up!" CJ hissed.

"Gently pinch the spot below his left ear." Donna whispered giving CJ a sleepy smile.

"Oh Donna, I didn't mean to make you up."

"That's okay." Donna replied rubbing her fuzzy eyes. "Pinch lightly and he'll wake up."

"Okay." CJ laughed reaching over and pinching Josh.

"OW!" Josh howled jumping up and grabbing at his ear. "What the hell?!"

"Lightly CJ," Donna laughed, "lightly."

"Sorry." CJ laughed not sounding very sorry. "Morning Josh."

"CJ," Josh whined, "that hurt."

"Well if you weren't such a heavy sleeper I wouldn't have had to inflict bodily harm and wake Donna."

"How you feeling?" Josh asked turning to Donna and examining her pale face under the bright morning sunlight. Completely ignoring CJ.

"Fuzzy." Donna pouted looking down at her iv line.

"Yeah, you'll clear up in a while." Josh smiled. "But at least your head doesn't hurt."

"Dr. Beaker said that I didn't need stitches." 

"Just some of his 'magic tape.'" Josh quoted.

"How do I look?" Donna asked suddenly feeling self conscious under Josh's watchful eye.

"Banged up." Josh quipped smirking.

"You look like a woman who's been through a rough night." CJ corrected smacking Josh on the arm. "Don't listen to him."

Lifting her arm to try and touch her bandage, Donna groaned in disgust when she realized that she didn't have the strength.

Catching Donna's falling arm, Josh gently laid it back at her side. "Really though. How do you feel? Do you want me to go and get the doctor?"

"No, I'm okay…I think."

Scrunching up his face, Josh shook his head. "No, I'm going to go and get the doctor. Have him check you out."

"Josh." Donna sighed even though both she and CJ knew that it was useless.

"I'll be right back." Josh assured running out of the room.

Smiling at Donna, CJ sat down on her bed. "So how you feeling?"

"A little banged up." Donna admitted. "You guys stayed all night? You really didn't have too."

"We did." CJ laughed. "If not to keep Josh from ripping out all his hair in frustration, than to keep him from yelling at all the doctors."

Blushing, Donna nervously licked her dry lips. "How do I look? Really CJ."

Frowning, CJ dug around in her bag for her compact. "You're still a little green around the edges and a little bruised, but you look fine."

Rolling her eyes, Donna didn't even bother to try and hold the compact herself. That would take too much effort. Catching her reflection, Donna blanched in surprise. "Oh my god…"

"I know that it looks bad now, but it'll all heal."

"I really _do _looked banged up. God CJ…" Donna whispered seeing the angry purple bruised on her cheek. She could still feel the sting of his heavy gun and cold hand striking her face. The throbbing and scorching sting was still so fresh in her mind. 

"Donna?" CJ asked worriedly as she threw her compact down. Reaching out, CJ tried to lightly shake her. "Donna?"

Her forehead was covered with a large bandage, but Donna could still feel her warm blood trickling down her cheek and mingling with her hot tears. Streaking her face and soaking her hair. Shivering, Donna tried to get away from the persistent hands. The cold hands.

"Donna!" CJ yelled grabbing her arms and shaking her. "It's okay. It's me. It's CJ."

Squeezing her eyes shut, Donna could hear herself whimper in fear. Not again. No, not again.

"It's okay." CJ soothed wrapping her arms around a fighting Donna, "It's not happening again. You're safe. I promise."

Her breathing ragged, Donna opened her eyes and found herself sobbing fitfully on CJ's strong shoulder. 

"You're safe, Donna." CJ whispered rubbing comforting circles on Donna's back and holding onto her shaking frame. "It's over. Nobody's going to hurt you."

"I was so scared." Donna gasped between her sobs. "I was so scared."

"I know, Donna. I know. You must have been scared. Anyone would have been scared."

"I couldn't let him rape me CJ."

"It's over." CJ said holding Donna's shivering frame against her solid one, "He can't hurt you anymore Donna. You're safe."

Nodding, Donna pulled away from CJ and rubbed furiously at her red face. "I'm sorry."

"Do you want to talk about it?" CJ asked handing Donna a few tissues.

"No." Donna replied wiping her face. 

"Donna," CJ warned, "you need to talk about it. If not with me than with someone who can…"

"I don't want to talk about it CJ. Like you said it's over." Donna said quickly. "It's over."

"Maybe here," CJ said gesturing around the room, "but not here." she said putting her hand over her own heart. "You need to talk about it."

"I'm tired." Donna said not meeting CJ's worried eyes.

"You can't avoid this." CJ said stubbornly.

"I'm not." Donna countered.

"You are." 

"No, I'm just tired." Donna denied closing her eyes.

"Donna," CJ sighed, "if you don't talk about this than you can't get better."

"CJ, I just can't get into it right now."

"Then when?" CJ asked.

"When I can handle it." Donna replied vaguely.

"Donna, if you won't talk to me about this, than how about Josh?"

"Don't tell Josh." Donna said opening her eyes in alarm, "You can't tell Josh."

"Why not?" 

"Because he needs to focus on his job." Donna tried.

"Bull." CJ shot back.

"Because he doesn't need to worry about me."

"Too late." CJ said shaking her head.

"Because it'll bring back horrible memories." Donna whispered catching CJ's hand. "Don't tell Josh, CJ. I don't want him to think about Rossyln." 

"He won't." CJ said lamely. 

"He will." Donna said adamantly. "He will. I don't want to be the reason that he falls back into where he was."

"Donna, you need help."

"I'll talk to someone CJ." Donna promised. "But please, don't tell Josh."

"I don't know."

"Please CJ," Donna begged, "promise me."

Hesitating, CJ nodded. "I promise."

Breathing a sigh of relief, Donna let her tight hold on CJ loosen and fall away when Josh came back into the room with an amused doctor in tow.

"How is my patient feeling this morning?" Dr. Beaker asked smiling at Donna.

Casting a quick look at CJ's worried face and than to Josh's concerned one, Donna plastered a fake smile on her tired face. "The truth doctor?"

"The truth would be nice." Dr. Beaker laughed.

Smiling at Josh, Donna turned back to her doctor. "A little banged up."

---------

"She looks good." Dr. Beaker announced coming out of Donna's room and finding four very worried looking people.

"Yeah?" Josh asked standing up.

"Yeah." Dr. Beaker said smiling at the anxiously man, "She is going to make a full recovery in no time. I've prescribed some pain killers for her and some rest."

"Rest?" Toby snorted, "I don't think Josh knows the meaning of that word."

Laughing, Sam nudged Josh playfully. "It seems that you're going to have to get yourself a temp for a little while."

"I'll survive." Josh said positively.

"We'll see how long that lasts." Toby replied.

"So when can Donna go home?" Josh asked choosing to ignore Toby.

"I'm going to keep her for another night so that we can keep an eye on her. If all goes well than she can go home tomorrow." Dr. Beaker promised. "You can go in and see her if you like, but remember that she needs her rest."

"Okay." Josh said leading Sam and Toby into the bright room.

"Dr. Beaker?" CJ asked catching the man before he could leave, "Do you have second?"

"Of course. What can I help you with?"

"Well…" CJ began awkwardly, "I'm worried about Donna."

"How so?"

"She doesn't seem to want to talk about what happened."

"That's normal." Dr. Beaker assured. "She just needs to have a little bit of time to come to terms with what happened."

"But she'll get better?" CJ asked anxiously, "I mean, what can I do? What can _we_ do to help?"

"Be there for her." Dr. Beaker said simply. "The police questioned Ms. Moss in the ER, but they will be back today to talk with her. After they see her, I'll send someone from psychology up to talk to her."

"Thank you." 

"It's my job." Dr. Beaker assured, "Why don't you go and spend some time with Ms. Moss before the others wear her out."

"Okay." CJ laughed feeling considerably better. Not completely, but considerably. 


	7. Life is what happens while your making o...

Title: Dark Depths

Author: Lucy Mars

Disclaimer: *sigh* Oh, if wishing made it so. ;] However, I do get to do anything I want to Amy.

****

Chapter #7

"You should go."

"I'm not going anywhere."

"Josh."

"Donna, forget it."

"So what are you going to do?" Donna asked frowning at Josh and absently brushing away her stray strands, "You're going to sit here all day and bug me?"

"No, keep you company." Josh corrected smiling broadly.

"You've got that thing with…"

"Sam took it." Josh said cutting Donna off.

"What about your meeting with…"

"Margaret re-scheduled it."

Squinting her eyes at Josh, Donna pointed an accusing finger. "How could Margaret possibly re-schedule an appointment that didn't exist?"

"She's amazing that way." Leo said announcing his presence to the two.

"Hi Leo." Donna said smiling triumphantly at Josh.

"Hey Donna. You look good."

Rolling her eyes, Donna gestured at her bandage. "I look like a mummy."

"You look good." Leo repeated putting a coffee down for Josh. "You, not so good."

"Thanks Leo." Josh sighed running his hand through his hair, "You really know how to make a guy feel good."

Laughing, Leo handed Donna a Starbucks bag and some juice. "Margaret was very specific about what to get you. It's probably not what she told me to get you since I was listening to her."

"Thank Leo." Donna laughed picking at the warm pastry.

"She said she'd come by after work." 

"Tell her she doesn't need too. I'll be home tomorrow anyway." 

"I'll tell her," Leo shrugged, "but I doubt she'll listen to me. She hardly does." 

"I know the feeling." Josh mumbled sipping his coffee.

"Leo," Donna sighed glaring at Josh, "take him away. He's bothering me."

Grunting, Leo shook his head. "Why, oh why, do you seem so surprised by that?"

Laughing, Donna handed Josh the rest of her muffin and took his coffee. "Tell Josh that he needs to go to work."

"Leo," Josh mock sighed through a mouthful of blueberry muffin, "tell Donna to get over it. I'm not going anywhere."

"Leo, tell Josh that there's still a country that needs to be run." 

"Leo, can you possibly inform Donna that the country is not going to fall apart if I'm gone for one day?"

"Josh…" Donna growled.

"Donna." Josh mimicked.

"Do I even need to be here?" Leo asked grinning at the two. "Donna, let Josh fuss. He'll get it out of his system and be out of your hair before you know it."

"I doubt it." Donna mumbled frowning at Josh's triumphant grin.

Before Josh could get up and do a victory lap around the hospital room, a perky nurse popped her head into the sunny room. "Well, there's a party go on in here." she laughed rolling in her equipment. "If you boys will give our patient and I a minute, I can do my job."

"We'll be right back." Josh assured Donna giving her hand a small squeeze.

"Okay." Donna said mustering up a small smile for Josh. Needles. The nurse was towing in a basket full of needles. God, she hated needles. 

Smiling, Leo followed Josh out of the room. "So, she looks good."

"I guess." Josh said shrugging his shoulders. "A little black and blue, but yeah, better."

"You okay?" Leo asked laying a concerned hand on Josh's arm. "I mean, you okay?"

"Yeah." Josh said nodding his head, "I'm okay."

"Good." Leo said sighing a breath of relief. "Good."

"So I guess this is my turn to take care of Donna." Josh said grinning when he heard Donna yelp at the sting of the needle. She hated needles. He knew she hated needles. She didn't need him to take care of her, his ass.

"Yeah."

"_Do_ you _need_ me to come in?" Josh asked looking up at Leo reluctantly. "I mean, it's my job and I know that…"

"Relax." Leo said waving Josh away. "It's a Friday and pretty light. Take care of Donna, and don't get kicked out of here in the process."

"I'll try." Josh laughed, "What am I going to miss today?"

"Nothing. Contrary to what you may think Josh, we're going to get along fine without you for one day." Leo grinned.

"Sure, you say that now, but I'll be the one laughing when you call me later."

"When we call later, it's going to be because we want to know where you keep the takeout menus."

"Ha, ha." Josh said shaking his head. "What are they doing today? Sam has my thing and Toby has…"

"Josh." Leo said cutting Josh off. "Relax. We've got it covered. You take care of Donna, and I'll take care of the country."

"Sounds good to me."

"Go in and see what that nurse is doing to Donna," Leo said gesturing at the closed door, "and I'm gonna go to staff."

"Okay." Josh said practically sprinting back into Donna's room and missing Leo's amused and sentimental smile. A rare sight if there ever was one. 

--------

"Do you think that Donna is going to be okay?"

Looking up at Sam from his yellow note pad, Toby rubbed his eyes in agitation. "What?"

"I said …"

"I heard you Sam," Toby sighed in that strangled way of his, "I heard you. Why are you asking me that? The doctor said that Donna is going to be okay."

"I know," Sam said smiling over his coffee, "I just feel bad leaving Donna alone with an anxious and overprotective Josh."

"How is that different from any other day?" CJ asked flipping through her notes.

"Donna doesn't have the strength to smack him upside the head when he gets annoying." Sam pointed out.

"God," CJ said looking up, "you're right. We didn't leave her anything to hurt him with."

"She's in a hospital." Toby said trying to hide his amusement, "If Josh becomes too much trouble, Donna will somehow convince someone to sedate him."

"You're right." CJ grinned.

"She's a smart girl." Sam chuckled mirroring CJ's grin.

"She is." Toby agreed gruffly. "Now do we want to talk about something productive?"

"Like how you seem to be sweet and sour at the same time?" CJ teased.

"I'm not pork chops CJ."

"Oh Tobus, if only you were."

"Okay," Toby said shaking his head at CJ, "I'm not talking to you until you get some sleep."

"I'm perfectly fine." CJ frowned. 

"Sure." Toby replied. "Has anyone approached you yet?"

"About last night? No."

"Okay." Toby frowned trying to figure out what to do, "Either no one has picked it up…"

"Not likely." Sam sighed.

"Or they're waiting to drop it on you during the briefing." Toby sighed. He didn't like that option.

"Maybe." CJ sighed. She didn't like that option either.

Before Toby could sigh again, Margaret popped her head into Leo's office. "Toby? Ginger says that Katie wants to talk to you."

"Katie from the Times?" Toby asked throwing CJ a look.

"Yeah."

"Okay." Toby said gathering his things. "Okay."

---------

"You should go home and try to get some sleep."

"You _should_ sleep."

"You probably didn't sleep much last night."

"Not much different from any other night."

"You had a rough night. You need your rest."

"Look who's talking. If anyone needs rest, it's you."

"You can't be comfortable in that chair. Did you sleep in that chair all night? Josh, you're probably all sore and stiff."

"That bed can't be much more comfortable than this chair, but if you're suggesting what I think you're suggesting…" Josh grinned, "Than I regret to inform you that there isn't enough room on the bed for the two of us."

"There's enough room on your bed at home, isn't there?"

"Didn't we go through this already?" Josh asked taking his eye off C-Span and smiling at Donna, "I mean, didn't I win already?"

"You didn't win." Donna frowned.

"I'm here, aren't I?" Josh asked smirking.

"You're insufferable, you know that?" Donna asked with a small smile.  


"I'm a lovable guy."

"You didn't win." Donna said taking the remote away from Josh and flipping off of C-Span before he started shouting at the television and waking the poor people on the floor who actually needed rest.

"Oh I did Donna. I won. You lost. Simple as that."

"You did not win Josh. You are merely being stubborn." Donna pointed out. 

"Ah huh." Josh grunted, not sounding too convinced. "Sure. You believe what you want to believe."

"You didn't win." Donna repeated fighting against her heavy eye lids. A losing battle, Josh noticed.

"You're right." Josh sighed trying to pacify Donna. 

"I usually am."

Laughing, Josh gently pulled the blanket up and tucked Donna in. "Why don't you try to get some sleep?"

"Are you staying?" Donna asked her voice hazy and slightly nervous.

Smiling to himself, Josh carefully brushed Donna's hair back. She didn't need him, his ass. "Yeah." Josh whispered watching sleep creep up to Donna, "I'm staying. You can't get rid of me that easily." 

"So I've noticed." Donna mumbled before much need sleep claimed her.

Settling into his chair, Josh watched with avid attention as Donna breathing slowed down and a little bit of harmony eased into her tight features.

"Josh?" 

"Yeah?" Josh asked jumping up in alarm. 

Slowing opening her sleepy eyes, Donna smiled sheepishly. "I'm glad you're staying."

Letting out a relieved breath, Josh was pretty sure that he looked pretty stupid wearing such a silly grin. "I'm glad I'm staying too."

--------

"I didn't get the question."

"Yeah." Toby said not looking up from his papers.

"Yeah." CJ said settling herself on Toby's couch. "I wonder why."

"Will the wonders never cease?" Toby asked sarcastically, as he marked something in the margins of his papers.

"What did you say to Katie?" CJ asked casually playing with her pen.

"Katie and I came to an understanding." 

"What kind of agreement?" CJ asked warily.

"We have an understanding."

"Stop being so god damn vague and tell me what the agreement was." CJ snapped.

Looking up, Toby shrugged his shoulders. "Katie is a good person."

"Yes she is."

"And a friends of Donna's."

"Yes."

"And it wasn't her kind of story."

"No?"

"No."

"Okay." CJ said getting up, "As long as you didn't trade your soul or something."

Grinning, Toby went back to his papers. "I don't know anyone who would want my soul."

"I could think of a few people." CJ said throwing Toby a smile before heading back to her own office.

`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`

SO........did you guys like this chapter? I know that it seems that I've let Amy go the way of Mandy and Danny...but she will be back. WAIT! Don't run!! You'll like it, I promise!!!! ;] Reviews makes me write faster! Yeah, I'm about as subtle as Josh. 


	8. Never act out of fear, and never let fea...

Title: Dark Depths

Author: Lucy Mars

Disclaimer: Wishin' and Hopin' _BUT _ they still aren't mine. ;] 

*Feedback makes me do a happy dance _AND_ write faster! ;)

****

Chapter #8

"Eat it."

Pouting, Donna shook her head and pushed the tray away. 

"You need to eat." Josh sighed pushing the tray back. "You haven't eaten anything all day."

"I'm not hungry."

"Yes you are."

"You eat."

"As soon as you do." Josh shot back, "You need to eat."

"I really don't." 

"Donna," Josh sighed picking up the cherry jello, "please try and eat? Weren't you the one who told me that if you don't eat you'll never get better?"

Frowning, Donna took the jello from Josh. Never did she think he would have an opportunity to throw her words back at him. "Fine."

"Thank you." Josh grinned. 

"I don't like you."

Smiling, Josh spread some jam on Donna's toast. "You'll like me when you realize that I'm right."

"Shut up."

"Okay," Josh laughed biting the toast, "okay."

Taking a bite of her jello, Donna couldn't help but smile at Josh and his inability to behave like a grown man. "You are such a slob."

"What?" Josh asked looking up.

Shaking her head, Donna grabbed her napkin and gently wiped Josh's chin. "Should I run down to the maternity ward and see if they have a spare bib?"

Catching her hand, Josh seriously studied Donna's surprised expression. "I really don't think that you're in any condition to be running anywhere." 

Putting on a reassuring smile, Donna squeezed Josh's fingers. "I'm okay. Really."

"Are you?" Josh asked skeptically. 

"Really." Donna lied looking down.

"Donna," Josh whispered catching her off guard with his tenderness, "it's me."

"It is." Donna replied smiling nervously.

"You can talk to me about anything."

"I know."

Putting down his toast, Josh scooted over so that he was sitting right beside Donna on the bed. "Do you?"

Looking everywhere but Josh, Donna pushed her jello around the little bowl. This

wasn't something that she wanted to talk about. Not to CJ. Not to some psychology student who seemed more interested in finding an interesting problem to analyze. And especially not to Josh. She would be fine. She'd go on with her life and forget that it had ever happen. She would forget. Wouldn't she?

"Donna?" Josh asked taking the jello away from her suddenly trembling hands and putting it down.

"Yeah?" Donna asked clasping her shaking hands together and watching them sit in her lap.

"Talk to me." Josh pleaded gently stroking her cheek.

Blinking away her sudden tears with embarrassment, Donna tried to form the words. She tried to bring herself to tell him how afraid she was and how much she wanted him to hold her until she was strong enough to deal with it all, but no matter how hard she tried the words wouldn't come. It all caught in her throat and threatened to suffocate her. 

"Oh Donna." Josh whispered wrapping his arms around her and pulling her right against him. He really didn't know if it was for her comfort, or for his. Mindful of her angry purple bruises, Josh held Donna as she cried softly on his shoulder. "It's going to be okay Donnatella. It's going to be okay."

Burying her face in his shoulder, Donna shed silent tears as Josh shared his strength with her. "This is silly." Donna whispered trying to pull away from Josh.

"What?" Josh asked capturing Donna's red face between his gentle hands.

"I'm crying for nothing." Donna blushed as Josh tenderly caught her tears with his thumbs and wiped them away, "It's over and I'm okay. I shouldn't be crying."

"You went through a lot last night Donna. There's nothing wrong with crying." Josh said seriously. 

Looking down, Donna was surprised to feel Josh pull her face back up to look at his. 

Taking a deep breath, Josh tried to make sense of the jumble of emotions running through him and all the words that were piling up in his chest. There was so much that he wanted to say. Where did he start? How did he start? What exactly was he trying to start?

"Josh?" Donna asked concerned as she watched Josh zone out. Did she start it? Was he remembering everything that she didn't want him to remember? Did she trigger flashbacks? Did she do exactly what it was that she didn't want to do? Grasping Josh's arms, Donna shook him. "Josh?"

"Yeah?" Josh asked snapping out of his little reverie to find Donna watching him with panic etched across her face. Her beautiful flushed face fit perfectly in his hands. He could sit here and happily hold her forever. Even after a horrific night and sleep deprived night, his Donnatella still looked beautiful. _His?_ When exactly did she become _his Donnatella_? More importantly, was she _his_? Was he _hers_? 

"Are you okay?" Donna asked still gripping his strong arms. Arms that she'd spent a lot of time thinking about.

"I'm fine." Josh stuttered feeling his face go red. Did she see right through him? If she knew what he was thinking about right that second she'd probably smack him and send CJ to finish him off.

"Okay." Donna said warily. 

"Donna…I…you see…the thing is…" Josh stammered as he stroked her cheek slowly with his thumb, "I…"

"Yes?" Donna prompted looking up at Josh with clear blue eyes.

Before Josh could stumble around some more with his pile of words and emotions, a light knock came at the door. Letting out a frustrated breath, Josh turned around to find Officer Lewis standing awkwardly at the door.

"Good Afternoon." 

Sighing, Josh pulled away from Donna and nodded at Officer Lewis. "Officer."

"I'm sorry if I'm interrupting." Dylan said offering Josh's frustrated face a sympathetic smile, "I can come back later."

Before Donna could shoo the grinning Officer away and ask Josh what it was he wanted to tell her, Josh got off of her bed and waved the officer in.

"No, no." Josh mumbled getting up and reluctantly putting some space between him and Donna, "Come in."

"Good morning Ms. Moss." Dylan said slipping into the room.

"Morning, Officer Lewis. And it's Donna. Remember?" Donna replied as she shot Josh a confused look. What had he been trying to tell her?

"I'm sorry to come by so early," Dylan said standing at the foot of Donna's bed, "but there are still a few things that I need to ask you."

"I told you everything that I knew in the ER." Donna said shaking her head in confusion, "I don't have anything else to tell you."

"I understand Donna, but I'm just following procedure. This will only take a few minutes. I promise."

"Okay." Donna sighed catching Josh's suddenly wide eyes. "What's wrong?"

"I'm vibrating." Josh sighed pulling his beeper off of his belt.

"Take it." 

"No," Josh said stubbornly, "I'm gonna stay here with you."

"It could be Leo."

"I want to stay here with you." Josh said moving back to her side.

Smiling at Josh, Donna patted his hand. "Go. I'll be fine."

"I'll be gentle," Dylan laughed, "I promise."

"I'll be right back." Josh said squeezing Donna's hand. 

"Go." Donna laughed.

"I'll be right back." Josh repeated before slipping out of the door.

Smiling at the door, Donna didn't notice the amused smile on Dylan's face.

"You've got a great boyfriend."

Looking up at Officer Lewis in surprise, Donna could feel her face heat up. "He's not my boyfriend. We're just friends."

Pulling out his notebook, Dylan smiled slyly. "Really?"

"Really." Donna squeaked.

"Huh." Dylan grinned, "You could have fooled me."

Donna knew that she should brush his comment aside and proceed with the questioning, but something in her wanted to know. Something in her was desperate to know and she was too tired to play the denial game with herself right now. "Why?"

"Why what?" 

Picking at her blanket, Donna shrugged. "Why did you think that he was my boyfriend?"

Settling down in Josh's chair, Dylan told Donna seriously. "Over the years I've had to tell a lot of people bad news, and I saw him last night while he was waiting for you. That's how I know."

"He was worried." Donna mumbled, "So were CJ, Sam and Toby."

"True." Dylan replied, "But he wasn't just worried Donna."

"No?" 

"No. He was devastated."

Laughing bitterly, Donna shook her head. "He was probably worried that there wouldn't be anyone to organize his files. You're reading too much into his reaction. Josh is excitable that way."

"Or maybe you're not reading enough into it." Dylan countered watching Donna digest that little bit of information. "Maybe you don't realize how much you mean to Josh."

Letting silence fall over the room, Donna shifted uncomfortably under Dylan's knowing smile. He was wrong…wasn't he? "So…"

"So?" 

Taking a deep breath, Donna sat up. "You had some questions?"

---------

Operating on automatic, Josh quickly dialed his number as he thought about Donna. Why couldn't he just spit the words out? Why couldn't he just say what he was thinking? Because he was an idiot, that's why. Resisting the urge to bang his head against the wall, Josh listen as the dull ringing filled his ear.

"Hello?"

"It's Josh. You paged me?"

"Yeah," Sam said as he juggled his phone and the files that Cathy had just thrust into his arms, "Leo needs you to come back."

"Now?" Josh sighed.

"Sorry." Sam said sympathetically, "I know that you would rather stay there with Donna, but we need you. Four hours top Josh."

"It's okay. I just don't want to leave her alone yet, Sam. She's putting on a brave front but she'll still pretty shaken."

"She won't be alone." Sam assured. "CJ already left. She should be there soon. Toby will run by to stay with Donna so that CJ can make it back for her briefing and I'll try to get there as quickly as I can to save Donna."

Laughing, Josh had to remind himself that he was in a hospital. A hospital that he knew had an abundance of disapproving nurses. "I appreciate it. Even if Donna probably won't."

"Yeah." Sam agreed, "So see you soon?"

"Yeah." Josh laughed, "I'll be there soon."

"Okay. Bye."

"Bye." Josh said hanging up. Shaking his head, Josh made his way back to Donna's room. She probably wouldn't be too happy with the revolving door of baby-sitters, but Josh wasn't going to leave if she was going to be alone.

"Hey." Donna said looking up from her jello.

"You guys finished already?" Josh asked taking a seat on the bed.

"He wasn't joking when he said that he only had a few questions." Donna said taking a bite of her jello. "Work?"

"Yeah. I need to go in for a couple of hours."

"You're going to go home and shower."

Grinning, Josh took a bite of his discarded toast. "Why did that sound more like an order than a question?"

"Because it was an order smart." Donna deadpanned. "You need a shower and some sleep."

Laughing, Josh swallowed hastily. "Okay."

"I'm going to be okay Josh." Donna smiled.

"I know." Josh lied.

"You probably won't be without me there to make sense out of your office, but you'll have to make do without me."

"I suppose." Josh said sighing dramatically. 

"You could try and help me break out of this joint." Donna teased.

"You are going to take advantage of this day off and sleep." Josh ordered. "You are going to rest up, right?"

"I am going to make sure that she does just that."

Looking up at their sudden guest, Donna glared at Josh. "You organized a baby sitter for me?"

"Josh didn't." CJ assured, "We did that all by ourselves, but because we knew that he would refuse to leave if we left you all alone."

"Thanks CJ." Josh sighed, "Way to help my case there."

"I try." CJ laughed. "Hey, you look better."

"I look like a mummy." Donna sighed still frowning at Josh.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Josh asked trying not to smile. She looked so cute when she was pissed. "I didn't do anything."

"Go to work." Donna grumbled.

"Okay." Josh laughed, "I'll see you later."

"Go home and shower." Donna ordered, "Try and get something to eat."

"You too." Josh said grinning like a fool. "Do you want me to bring you anything?"

"Real food?" Donna asked.

"Chinese?"

"Yum, that sounds good."

"The usual?" Josh asked.

"Yeah, and extra…"

"Fortune cookies." Josh finished, "I know."

"Thanks." Donna laughed. "Now go."

"Okay, okay. Bye." Josh said grabbing his jacket. "Take care of her CJ."

"I'll do my best." CJ laughed, mock saluting Josh.

Shaking his head, Josh gave Donna's hand a quick squeeze. "I'll be back later Donna."

"I know." Donna assured, "Don't mess my up files too bad Joshua."

"Don't ask the impossible Donnatella." Josh laughed, "Bye."

"Bye." Donna said watching him slip out of the room. Maybe Dylan wasn't too far off.

"You can stop grinning now. He's gone." CJ said settling herself on Donna's bed.

Blushing, Donna picked at her jello. "Claudia Jean, leave the sick girl alone."

"You don't look sick to me. You look rosy and happier than I've see you in a long time."

Raising an amused eyebrow, Donna took the last bite of her jello. "I look happy? After the night that I had, I wouldn't think that I look happy."

"You look like a woman who has figured out something." CJ said cryptically, "Something that had been bothering her for a long time."

"You're talking in code now?" Donna laughed.

"You understand."

"Do I now?" Donna asked.

"You do." CJ said confidently, "You do."

"Okay." Donna laughed, "Okay."

"Are you trying to pacify me?" CJ asked with mock anger.

"Yup." Donna laughed.

`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`

*ahem* I know that I said that Amy would be in this chapter......but as you probably noticed [don't think I can't hear all the Haremites doing their own little happy dance!] she wasn't. Yeah, I can hear you all sigh with disappointment. ;] She will be in the next chapter though. DON'T RUN AWAY! As I promised...you will like it!! *snicker* Unless of course you are the one person who actually likes Amy. Well than, I've only got one question for you........ _What are you doing reading this story?!?!? **Have I converted someone away from the dark side?!?! * **_What? A girl can dream...can't she? Fun as always! Review and I'll write!! FYI, the reviews SO FAR have been amazing! You guys rule! *sniff*

-Lucy [Ha! If I spent as much time on the fic as I do on these Author Note thingy's this story would be moving along!] 


	9. Conflict is simple. You have to face the...

Title: Dark Depths

Author: Lucy Mars

Disclaimer: Nope, not mine.....but ABS was nice enough to share them with all of us. ;] 

****

Chapter #9

"And you said that you wouldn't need me." Josh said walking into Leo's office and taking a seat in the visitors chair.

Looking up from his desk, Leo grinned at Josh. "Don't let it get to your head. Toby was to busy to take this."

"So what needs the Lyman touch?" 

"Is the Lyman touch anything like the Midas touch?" 

"Mr. President." Josh said standing up.

"Nice to see you Josh." Jed grinned, "So are you just temp-ing now? I haven't seen you all day."

"No." Josh laughed, "I'm still working full time here."

"Good." Jed laughed. "I heard about Donna. How is she?"

"Better sir." 

"I'm sure that you didn't want to leave her just yet," Jed said throwing Leo a knowing smile, "but we needed you here."

"Of course sir." Josh replied confused by the smiles that the President and Leo were passing each other. "So…what's going on?"

"We've got information that Jones and Gardner jumped." Leo said handing Josh a couple of files.

"When?" Josh asked quickly scanning over the papers.

"Just now. We need you to go to the Hill and fix this." Leo said seriously. "We can't lose there votes."

"Okay." Josh sighed. Well, this was going to be hard. Concentrating on work while worried about Donna. Yeah, this was going to be hard.

--------

"You don't need to stay." Donna pointed out.

Looking up from the files that he brought with him, Toby shrugged. "I'm staying."

"Do you need help?" Donna asked reaching for the files that Toby had spread over the bed.

"Rest." Toby commanded brushing Donna's hands away.

Rolling her eyes, Donna leaned back against her pillows. "I don't think I can."

"Do I need to go and get a sedative for you?" Toby asked sounding completely serious.

"I don't need a baby-sitter." Donna grumbled.

"Do I look like a gawky teenager trying to make some money?" Toby asked while scribbling down something on his note pad.

"No." Donna laughed. She couldn't picture Toby as anything more than a disgruntled and aggravated man. 

"Than I would appreciate it if you didn't refer to me as a baby-sitter."

"I'll try my best." Donna said sarcastically.

"Donna," Toby sighed looking up from his papers, "rest. If you don't rest then Sam will come in here and see how tired you look. Then he'll tell Josh, because lets face it, Sam can't keep anything from anyone. And then there will be hell to pay because …"

"Are you scared of Josh?" Donna teased cutting Toby off.

"When it comes to you, than yes, I am. Josh is very protective of you." Toby replied sincerely. 

"O…ok…kay." Donna stuttered.

"So you'll rest?" Toby asked in that gruff but lovable way of his.

"Sure." Donna lied thinking about what Toby just said.

"Good." Toby grunted going back to his work.

---------

Rushing back into his bullpen, Josh wasn't surprised to find Sam waiting in his office.

"You got it?" Sam asked anxiously.

"I got Jones and Gardner." Josh said throwing off his coat and handing Sam the files that he would need. "Only took me three hours."

"Hey, you got them. That's what counts. You gonna go and tell Leo?"

"I called him already." Josh said absently rubbing his cold hands, "It is freezing outside."

"You walked?" Sam asked surprised.

"Traffic is horrible today." Josh shrugged flipping through the pile of messages on his desk. "It took me forever to get here from G.W. I didn't want to waste any more time than those two windbags would have cost me."

"Good thinking. Listen, do you need…"

"Wait." Josh said looking up at Sam with a confused expression on his face. 

"What?" Sam asked regarding Josh's sudden outburst oddly.

"You." Josh frowned, "What are _you_ doing here?"

"I work here Josh." Sam laughed shaking his head, "Have you had your coffee today?"

"NO." Josh said shaking his head adamantly, "_You're _suppose to be with Donna. Right now." Josh said looking down at his watch for emphasis. "My watch may suck, but it's not _that_ far off. Why aren't you with Donna?"

"Oh." Sam said sheepishly. "That."

"Yes. That." Josh replied advancing on Sam, "You left her with Toby?!"

"Well," Sam said backing up, "no."

"No?" Josh asked letting out a relieved breath. "So you left her with CJ."

"Well…not exactly." Sam stuttered.

"One of the assistants?" 

"No." Sam muttered.

"Sam?" Josh asked in a dangerous tone. "Did you leave Donna alone?"

"I went!" Sam exclaimed pleading his case. "I went at my appointed time and I did save her from Toby and his incessant grumbling."

"Then what are you doing here?!" Josh demanded gesturing around his office. "I can't believe you left her alone!"

Putting his hands up to hold Josh off from attacking him, Sam smiled sheepishly. "I…you see…the thing is…Donna can be very convincing?"

"Was that a question, or a statement?" Josh asked scowling at Sam.

"A statement?" Sam offered. Watching Josh's frown deepen, Sam tried to explain his side. "I went, Josh. I did. I even brought her flowers."

"You did?" Josh asked slight dejected. He was going to get her flowers with dinner. Scrap that idea.

"I did. I got there and she didn't even smile. She yelled!"

"She yelled?" Josh laughed.

"She threw a pillow." Sam added laughing at the memory. "Imagine how I felt. I walk in, ready to entertain her and you know, save her from Toby and what do I get? A pillow launched at my head. She hit me dead on the head."

"She's got a great arm," Josh grinned, "but that still doesn't explain why you're here and _not_ there with her."

"The fact that she was flinging things at me as way of a greeting wasn't a very good sign." Sam explained. "Donna was mad at the, and I quote, 'revolving door of baby-sitters.'"

"So she's mad at me?" Josh asked sitting down tiredly. Dealing with a grumpy Donna wasn't going to be fun, but hey, he didn't know any other way he wanted to spend the night.

"More annoyed than anything." Sam shrugged, glad to see that Josh wasn't about to hurt him. "She promised that she was okay, and made it very clear that, and I quote, 'a big girl.'"

"Still." Josh sighed rubbing his head.

"I'm sure that if she needed anything she would call."

"Yeah." Josh said looking at his phone. Maybe he would call her. Make sure that she was okay. Not checking up on her. No. More like…um…calling to tell her how his meetings went. Score. Perfect cover.

"You done for the day?" Sam asked snapping Josh back to reality.

"Huh?" Josh asked looking up. "No. No. Still got a couple things to do before I can do. Another hour maybe."

"Okay." Sam said lingering at the door. "I'll see you later."

"Yeah." Josh replied absently as he reached for his phone. His hand was just hovering above the receiver when the phone rang. Grinning, Josh picked it up. Donna had great timing. "Hello?"

"J."

Groaning internally, Josh resisted the urge to pound his head against his desk. The day just kept on getting better and better. First getting interrupted by Officer Dylan, then getting called into work, _then_ three hours with complete and utter idiots who they _needed_, do Josh had no choice but to be nice _and_ now this. Life just wasn't fair. Was it karma coming back to bite him in the ass? He'd have to ask Donna about that. 

"J.!" Amy snapped, "Are you listening to me?"

"Yeah." Josh sighed rubbing his eyes. Would it be bad form to hang up on his ex-girlfriend? **Wait**. Were they over yet? Did he have to make it clear to her? Did they or didn't they break up last night? _Oh yeah_, the day just kept on getting better and better.

"Where have you been?"

"Working." Josh sighed. He had to refrain from going, 'duh!' 

"I've been calling." 

"Yeah?" Josh asked trying to feign interest.

"Yes. I've been trying to reach you all morning."

"Yeah?"

"Can we possibly have a civilized conversation?" Amy asked. Even from here, Josh could feel the frost directed at him.

"Sure."

"You're impossible, you know that?"

Josh had to physically cover his mouth, because he knew he'd tell her that Donna loved that about him. 

"J.?"

"I'm here." Josh sighed. Sighing. He'd been doing that a lot since he and Amy started their…thing. That was it. It was a thing. It wasn't a relationship. It was a thing. A painful and not very much fun…thing.

"You haven't apologized yet."

"Excuse me?" Josh asked sitting up straight now.

"You haven't apologized yet." Amy repeated.

"I heard you the first time." Josh replied, "I'm confused about what for exactly."

"For being a jackass." Amy shot back.

"That's part of my charm." Josh told her sarcastically.

"Shut up." Amy snapped.

"You can't do that 'don't talk to me' crap over the phone Amy." Josh laughed. Damn it felt good to tell her that. "The beauty of phones are that I don't have to talk to you if I don't want to."

"You know what J.?"

"What?" Josh asked. Should he tell her that he hated that "J." crap too? He was on a role. Why not.

"I was ready to forgive you…"

"Again," Josh interrupted, "for what exactly, I'm not sure."

"…but now," Amy said forging ahead, "I don't think I will."

"Then don't." Josh answered not at all bothered.

"What?" Amy asked obviously surprised.

"I said, 'then don't.'" Josh repeated smugly.

"You jackass." Amy hissed.

"Amy, hate me. Fine. You wouldn't be the only person in D.C. to hate me."

"Of course not." Amy scoffed.

"I think we should see other people." Josh said seriously.

"You're breaking up with me _over_ the phone?" Amy exclaimed. "I cannot believe you."

"It's not working. We're not working."

"Jackass." Amy repeated.   
  
"Sure. Yeah, I probably am, but I would be an even bigger one if I pretended that we were working."

"J.?"

"Yeah?"

"Go to hell."

"Okay." Josh replied. "Bye." Hanging up the phone, Josh couldn't stop smiling. For once in their…thing, he'd gotten the last word. It felt nice. Leaning back in his chair, Josh wasn't surprised when his phone started ringing immediately. Of course Amy wouldn't sleep knowing that she didn't get the last word. Grabbing the phone, Josh held it to his ear as he tried to make sense of the files on his desk. God, he needed Donna to make sense of all this. "Yes Amy?"

"Josh?"

"Donna?"

"Uh, yeah." Donna said sounding uncomfortable. "I can let you go if you're expecting a call from Amy."

"No! No. No." Josh said smacking himself on the head. He was an idiot. An idiot worthy of punishment from CJ.

"Okay." Donna said hesitantly, "Are you sure? If you're waiting for Amy…"

"No. No." Josh said cutting her off. "I'm not waiting for Amy. I was actually just about to call you."

"Yeah?" Donna asked trying to act nonchalant. 

"Yeah." Josh grinned feeling the tension from his conversation with Amy melt away as he talked to Donna.

"I just wanted to call and see how your meetings went."

"Really?" Josh asked feeling his grin grow. 

"Yeah. Toby filled me in."

"I got them." Josh told her proudly.

"Of course you did." Donna said seriously. For some reason her faith in him made him feel disgustingly proud. "Did you behave?"

"Of course." Josh lied.

"How many letters of apology am I going to have to send out Joshua?"

"None." Josh promised. He'd write them himself. You know, eventually.

"You're going to write them yourself, aren't you?" Donna asked laughing.

"Yes." Josh admitted. See, why couldn't all relationships be like this? Actually fun. Probably because he'd never been _in_ a relationship with Donna. Hmm, that could probably be debated. 

"So, you're done?" Donna asked trying not to sound desperate. She was scared and too proud to admit it. Josh would drop everything and come if she asked him too, but then when she was better he would spend countless hours snarking her. And…there was also the fact that Donna didn't like admitting defeat. Especially when she'd gone to so much trouble to guilt Sam into leaving.

"Soon." Josh promised. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. I'm fine." Donna rushed.

"Donna," Josh said sounding skeptical, "what's wrong?"

"Nothing." Donna said slower this time.

"Donna."

"Yes Josh?"

"Are you sure?"

"Positive." Donna lied looking around her slowly darkening hospital room. She was a big girl. She could take care of herself. That was her mantra. She would repeat is over and over again till she felt better. 

"All right." Josh sighed. "I'll be done in an hour. Two tops."

"Okay." Donna replied trying to sound brave. A worried Josh usually wasn't a very productive Josh, "Go and work. I'll be fine."

"Okay." Josh said slowly. He was worried, but he couldn't drop his work. This was important. Donna was important. Oh the choices.

"Josh?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you going to hang up?" Donna asked smiling down into her phone.

"Are you tired Donna?" Josh asked suddenly.

"I've done nothing but lie in bed all day, Joshua." Donna replied rolling her eyes, "I am restless, bored and annoyed that you would even ask me that."

"Whoa." Josh laughed, "Obviously a stupid question. Listen, if you're not tired, do you want to help me?"

"Help you?"

"Yeah," Josh said getting excited with his marvelous idea, "help me. Tell me where everything is. I'll get done faster if you'll tell me where to find things." And he'd be able to work knowing that she was all right. A win win situation. He was brilliant! 

"Okay." Donna said feeling relief wash over her. "That's a good idea. I don't want you taking my well ordered files and creating chaos. What do you need first?"

`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`

So....did you like this chapter? ;) Alas, this may or may not be the demise of Amy. I haven't really decided yet. Maybe I'll continue to use her as an angst-y plot device....maybe I won't. BUT, rest assured, there will be more JoshandDonna-ness! **Quick Question:** I've been getting a whole bunch of suggestions of what to do with Amy...and how would you feel if I took the first chapter of **Dark Depths **and went in a totally hateful-evil-villain-Amy-ish way? Like a suspenseful drama filled thriller-ish fic. Tell me what you think **when** you review. *wink wink* *nudge nudge* ;] Yeah, I'm working on the subtly thing.

-Lucy

*Quick side note: Does anyone know why when I update my story doesn't appear in the "Just In" section? Just curious.


	10. Not all who wander are lost.

Title: Dark Depths

Author: Lucy Mars

Disclaimer: *sniff* They..........aren't......mine. *sniff* Sorry...still trying to get over that. *sniff* AND all my collective powers [_and the Harems too...hehe!] _doesn't seem to be enough to get rid of Amy. Week after week she keeps appearing on my screen! Make her go away. ;]

****

Chapter #10

"You are a good man Joshua." Donna moaned closing her eyes and leaning back against her fluffy pillows.

"I know." Josh smirked leaning back against the headboard. 

"No," Donna said shaking her head adamantly and looking at Josh with bright eyes, "I really don't think you do. You are a good, very good man."

"Good enough for you to get me coffee?" Josh asked watching Donna devour another piece of kung pow chicken.

Snorting, Donna gently nudged Josh with her shoulder. "You wish."

"Can't blame a guy for trying." Josh laughed taking a bite of his fried noodles. 

"This is delicious." Donna whimpered taking some of Josh's fried noodles. "I missed real food."

"Don't you think you're being a little dramatic?" Josh asked turning to look at Donna. Grinning, Josh wasn't surprised to find Donna pouting her beautiful lips at him. "Okay. Okay. You're not. You want some more of my noodles?" he asked as a piece offereing.

"No. I'm stuffed." Donna smiled riffling through the takeout boxes on the bed and finding the remote. "How is the real world today?" she asked wistfully as Aaron Brown's face appeared on the screen. 

"Smoggy?" Josh offered shifting on the narrow bed in an attempt to give Donna more room.

"Dork." Donna sighed playfully. "Fill me in. What happened at work today?"

"Donna," Josh sighed, "I was on the hill of three hours harassing incompetent men, then I went back to the White House where I proceeded to spend an hour on the phone with you. What could you possibly want to know?"

"What happened at work today." Donna laughed watching Josh playfully scowl at her. "Josh, I meant what happened with the people."

"Oh," Josh said dramatically, "you want to know gossip."

"Not gossip Josh. Just what is going on in the lives of my fellow co-workers."

"Uh huh. A fancy way to say gossip."

"Listen buster." Donna said frowning at Josh, "You didn't bring me anything to do and you left me with baby-sitters. The least you can do is entertain me."

"And how do you suggest I do that?" Josh asked smiling suggestively at Donna.

She could feel her face start to flush at the proximity of Josh's face. Her heart begin to race and pound madly. Okay, what to do. Grab his face and kiss him was one option. And she would have done it too if she didn't hear Josh's voice in her head greeting Amy. No. No. No. Not again. Donna had been in a relationship that had been destroyed by a third party. She couldn't do that. Donna couldn't make a move on Josh if he was involved with Amy. _Yeah_, that was one big excuse. The fact that she was scared shitless that Josh would do the _"Wow Donna, you're like a little sister to me…"_ could be why she didn't just grab him and kiss him senseless. _OR_, there was the fact that Sam decided to breeze into the charged hospital room right at that moment.

"Hi Sam." Donna said trying to sound cheerful, but really passing as strained. Realizing how close she and Josh were on the bed, Donna moved up a little in an attempt to put some space between them.

"Hey guys…" Sam said trailing off when he saw Josh scowl at him from behind Donna's tight and flushed face. Man, Sam sighed realizing that he'd walked in on something, he really did have the worst timing.

Seeing Sam stand awkwardly at the door, Donna waved him in. No need to make this situation more uncomfortable than it already was. "Are you going to stand there all night? Come in."

"I…you see…they're almost…" Sam stuttered glancing out the door behind him nervously and at Josh.

"They who?" Josh asked groaning as he rested his head on Donna's elegant shoulder. Her hair smelt so good. The perfect combination of lilies and Donna. Sam must have brought Donna her shampoo when he ran over to grab some essentials. God, she smelt good. Bad thoughts. Bad thoughts. Well…not so much bad unpleasant, as bad timing bad. _Sam. _Sam was a dead man.

"_They_, CJ and Toby." 

Reaching back and patting Josh's head lightly as he groaned, Donna offered Sam an understanding smile. "Did you bring me more flowers?"

"No." Sam laughed still looking uncomfortable. 

"That's okay. Just remember to bring them next time you come." Donna teased trying to ease the tension in the room. God, Josh's hair was so soft and silky. Bad thoughts. Inappropriate thoughts. Oh, _go_ away everyone. 

"_And_ call next time." Josh sighed still resting his head on Donna's comfortable shoulder and reveling in the feeling of her slender fingers weaving comforting patterns through his hair.

"Josh." Donna reprimanded gently and sharing a smile with Sam, "I don't intend on being here long enough for Sam to have to call ahead of time to tell me he's coming to see me."

"I just want to say that this wasn't my idea." Sam said in a rush. "CJ wanted to come and see how you were and Toby wanted to see if you killed Josh yet in a fit of rage. I'm here because…"

"Sam." Donna laughed, "It's okay. Ignore Josh. He's just grumpy. Come in. Come in."

"Donna!" CJ smiled pushing Sam into the room and pulling Toby in behind her. 

"Hi CJ. Hey Toby." Donna smiled nudging Josh discreetly. Having Sam seeing them like this, sitting together on her hospital bed, was okay _but_ it might be pushing it if the Press Secretary and Communication Director saw. However, it didn't seem to bother or worry Josh since he wasn't making any move to get off the bed or her shoulder for that matter.

"Is he asleep?" CJ asked grinning at Donna.

"No." Donna said poking Josh now. "Okay…maybe."

"Did you sedate him?" Toby asked slipping into the visitor chair and grabbing a takeout box.

"I'm awake." Josh said dragging himself away from Donna. "No state emergency tonight that needs your attention?"

Hitting Josh gently, Donna smiled up at three curious faces. "I'd tell you to ignore him but you guys know that already."

"You guys still hungry?" CJ asked holding out a paper bag mischievously.

"Depends." Josh and Donna replied in unison.

"Some dessert courtesy of our favorite little café." 

"Cheesecake?" Donna asked her face lighting up.

"Chocolate." CJ confirmed handing Donna the bag.

"Yummy." Donna said pulling out the plastic container.

"How about me?" Josh asked looking for another container, but not surprisingly, there wasn't one. 

"We didn't know that you'd be here." Toby said dryly. "Imagine my surprise when I walked in and I saw you here with Donna."

"We can share." Donna laughed trying to soothe Josh's ruffled feathers. 

"Can I have some?" Sam asked playfully.

"You should have been smart enough to get some for yourself." Donna laughed feeding Josh a quick bite before devouring some cheesecake herself. "This is delicious." Donna moaned appreciatively. 

"It sure is." Josh whispered watching Donna intently. Donna didn't notice, but the other three sure did. Did they know, the threesome wondered as they watched Josh and Donna, or were they really _that_ stupid?

"Thanks you guys." Donna said taking another bite.

"No problem." CJ said sharing knowing smiles with Toby and Sam.

"Do you want some more?" Donna asked turning her attention to Josh.

"Ah, no." Josh said shaking his head as he watched the three Musketeers share smiles eerily similar to the one that Leo and the President exchanged this morning. What was with everyone today? Did someone spike the coffee? Did they all share a joint in staff this morning? 

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`

Enjoy the fluff? Sorry if you were looking for some serious plot development...but I'm still having conflicting emotions about were to take this! ;] Don't worry.....I'll pull myself together and have the next chapter out soon!! Till then......please review! Leave suggestions if you want. ;}

-Lucy 


	11. Every great achievement was once impossi...

Title: Dark Depths

Author: Lucy Mars

Disclaimer: Wishin' and Hopin' _BUT _ they still aren't mine. ;] 

*Feedback makes me do a happy dance _AND_ write faster! ;)

****

Chapter #11:

"I'm gonna go and get some coffee." Josh said getting off of Donna's bed and stretching, "You guys want any?"

"How about you go home and get some sleep instead of digesting more coffee than you need too?" Donna suggested not too subtly. 

"Do you want coffee?" Josh asked ignoring Donna's question.

"Are you going to go home and sleep?"

"I'm not sleepy." Josh replied.

"I don't believe you." Donna snorted.

"I'm offering to get you coffee." Josh laughed, "You sure you don't want to take me up on it?"

"I'll have some coffee." Sam said from his place beside a grinning Toby, reminding the two of the presence of others.

"I guess if you're going you can get me some." Donna sighed smiling at Josh.

"You want to come a help me Claudia?" Josh asked giving her a serious look.

"I'll help you." CJ agreed getting up and following Josh out.

"Would you like regular of decaf, Claudia?" Josh asked when they got to an ancient looking coffee machine. A machine that looked like it had seen better days.

"How about we go downstairs to the little café?" CJ suggested leading a reluctant Josh towards the elevator. "My treat. Also, less chance of digesting, god knows, how decayed and molded coffee beans."

"I don't want to go too far." Josh protested looking down the empty hall towards Donna's room.

"She's fine." CJ assured. "Toby and Sam are with her and we'll be right back."

"I guess." Josh said still hesitant, but following CJ into the elevator.

"Donna looks better."

"I suppose." 

"You suppose?" CJ asked surprised. "She's laughing and eating."

"She's still all bruised." Josh sighed rubbing his tired eyes and trying to erase the image of Donna's purple and blue arms.

"It'll all heal." CJ told Josh gently. "Donna will heal."

"She's not telling me something Claudia." Josh said looking up at her with worried eyes. "There's something that she's not telling me."

"Why do you think that?" CJ asked looking everywhere but at Josh.

"Because I can see it, CJ. She's trying too hard to seem like everything is all right. Donna's hiding something. She's hiding something." Josh repeated watching the elevator doors slide open and CJ slip out too eagerly. "What is she hiding CJ?"

"How would I know?" CJ asked calmly leading the way to the empty café.

"Because you do."

"I only know what I need to know."

"What is she not telling me?" Josh asked catching up with CJ.

"Nothing."

"Liar." Josh accused.

"Hey, I've been called worse." CJ shrugged.

"So you admit that you know something that I don't." Josh accused.

"I know many many things Joshua." CJ answered in perfect Press Secretary manner.

"I'm not the press corps. CJ." Josh sighed looking genuinely worried and scared, "I'm Josh. I am a worried Josh. What isn't Donna telling me?"

"Josh," CJ sighed shaking her head, "I can't…"

"You can."

"Donna…she made me promise, but she's okay." CJ assured trying to ease Josh's racing mind, "She's going to be okay. She just doesn't want to…"

"Is she afraid to tell me because of…"

"Yeah." CJ said filling in the blank that Josh had left. She didn't want to think about it either, let alone say it out loud. Not now…and especially not here. Not in a café that she'd spent too much time in. Not in a hospital that held bad memories. 

Running his hands through his already unruly hair, Josh shook his head. "That's crazy. I wouldn't….it wouldn't trigger…"

"Are you sure?" CJ asked paying the cashier and handing Josh two steaming cups of coffee and carrying three herself. "I mean, it's a valid point. This is Donna we're talking about…she knows you…"

"And I know me." Josh snapped shaking a sugar package. "I know that I can pull my damaged psyche together to be there for Donna." 

"I know you can," CJ said placing a reassuring hand on Josh's arm, "but can you really say that you're surprised that Donna would worry about that?"

"No," Josh sighed stirring the coffee, "but I want to be there for her. I want her to know that she can come to me when she needs someone."  


"She knows that Josh. She does."

"Okay." Josh mumbled not sounding sure.

"When are they letting her out of this joint?" CJ asked changing the subject.

"Tomorrow." Josh said putting down the coffee and looking up at CJ.

"What?" she asked catching his serious look.

"That's why I wanted you to come with me."

"Okay." CJ said not understanding. "What did you want to tell me?"

"They're letting her out tomorrow, and you've seen Donna. She can't even talk from her bed to the washroom without getting dizzy." Josh said seriously.

"Yeah." CJ said getting _that_ knowing smile on her face.

"And she lives by herself…"  


"Roommate?" 

"Moved out." Josh pointed out, "A couple of months ago. Donna lives by herself now…"

"And she can't possibly be by herself right now." CJ said finishing Josh's sentence for him.

"She can't." Josh agreed smiling slightly, "So I was thinking that Donna would come and stay with me for a couple of days. You're my first call CJ. I'm letting you know."  
  
"And if I said no dice?" CJ asked.

"I'd tell you to get over it cause you ain't changing my mind." Josh shrugged.   
"Donna needs me and I'm going to be here for her."

"Okay." CJ said picking up the coffee and heading back towards the elevator.

"Okay?" Josh asked surprised. "You're not going to fight me?"

"No." CJ said simply.

"No?"

"Are you going to do anything stupid that will show up in my Press Room?" CJ asked.

"No." Josh said truthfully. Well admitting that he was liked with Donna wasn't stupid…was it? Come on, he even liked her _liked_ her. 

"Than why should I care if you're taking care of Donna?" CJ asked playfully.

"Okay." Josh said smiling at CJ. 

"I'll even _call_ before I come over to visit Donna." CJ laughed. 

"You do that." Josh said seriously, "You make _sure_ that everyone does that."

"I will." CJ agreed. "Josh, listen, I don't have a problem with Donna staying with you…but…"

"But what?" Josh asked feeling dread fill his stomach. Toby? Leo? Sam? Who had a problem with it? 

"But Donna probably will."

---------

"No wheelchair." Donna said as she slowly got out of bed. 

"Donna," Josh sighed grabbing her arm and trying to steady her swaying form, "get in the damn chair."

"No." Donna protested.

"It's hospital policy." Dr. Beaker pointed out smiling gently.

"But..."

"No buts." Josh said leading Donna into the wheelchair, "You made me ride out in one." he reminded her smugly. 

"Is this pay back?" Donna asked incredulously.

"No." Josh laughed.

"Joshua." Donna warned.

"Okay," Josh amended, "maybe. Practically. Totally."

Crossing her arms, Donna frowned at Josh. "Dork."

Smiling down at Donna, Josh reached over and shook Dr. Beaker's hand. "Thanks so much Doctor."

"My pleasure. Now these are Ms. Moss's painkillers." Dr. Beaker said handing the bottle to Josh, "Make sure that she gets some rest this weekend."

"I will." Josh promised. "Ready to go Donna?"

"Yes." Donna said careful not to nod to quickly. "Bye Doctor."

"Bye." Dr. Beaker laughed watching Josh and Donna bicker like an old married couple as they made their way out of the hospital. Shaking his head in amusement, he smiled over at Nurse O'Neil. "They're like an old married couple."

"I think that it's sweet." Nurse O'Neil replied.

"You think that they whole denial thing is cute?"

"No," she said, "I think how two smart people are completely oblivious to how the other person feels is cute. In a demented sort of way."

"Well, maybe they aren't _completely _oblivious." Dr. Beaker offered, "Maybe just a little."

---------

"Oh," Donna sighed happily as Josh slowly led her to his car, "it's such a beautiful day."

Paying more attention to Donna, and the fact that her arm was wrapped around his, Josh grunted in agreement. "It sure is."

Smiling at Josh, Donna tightened her hold on his arm. "I missed the sun, the sounds and the fresh air."

Laughing, Josh shook his head in amusement. "You were in the hospital for a day Donna. You make it sound like you were in confinement for months. Besides, this is D.C. There is no fresh air."

"Don't spoil my mood Joshua." Donna said in mock anger. 

"I'll try my best." Josh promised smirking.

"Good." Donna said slowing down their pace. "So what's on the schedule for today?" 

"Rest." Josh said seriously.

"How can I rest…"

"Easy." Josh said pulling out his keys and unlocking all the doors. "Resting really isn't all the hard. It consists of lying in bed and watching television. CNN if you promise not to get too worked up."

"Josh," Donna whined, "I'm bored. Lets go to work. It's Saturday. It'll be light. I need to catch up on all the things that are piled up on both our desks anyway."

"No."

"Josh."

"No, Donna."

"Josh."

"You are going to take it easy for the next few days."

"Dr. Beaker said _this weekend_ Josh." Donna reminded him as he helped her into the car. "As in _two_ days."

"Are you comfortable?" Josh asked anxiously as he helped Donna settle in his car.

"I'm fine Josh." Donna laughed. "Two days Joshua. That's it. I'm going back to real life on Monday. Work. Coffee. Long hours. Annoying Congressmen."

"We'll see how you feel after two days and decide if you need some more time off." Josh said helping her buckle her seat belt. Looking at Donna's face, he couldn't help but frown at the bandage on her head and all the reminders of how close he had come to losing her. He couldn't lose her.

"Josh." Donna said seriously as she reached out and touched his arm, "I'm okay."

Gently tracing the white bandage, Josh mustered up a quick smile for Donna's sake. No need to burden her with his fears. "I know."

"I'll rest." Donna offered as a way to reassure Josh and ease the line of worry creasing his forehead.

"I know you will."  


"How?" Donna asked as Josh closed her door and ran over to the drivers side.

Smirking, Josh slipped into his seat and started the engine. "Because, I'm enforcing rules."

"Rules?" Donna asked trying not to smile.

"Many _many_ rules that you will need to follow to the letter. Strict rules that are for your own good."

"Really?"

"Really." Josh said grinning at Donna.

Leaning back in her seat, Donna watched as D.C. whipped by them. "Ah ha."

"Is that doubt?" Josh asked playfully. "You don't think that I can enforce rules?"

Laughing, Donna finally noticed where they were going. "Josh?"

"Yeah?"

"This isn't the way to my place." Donna pointed out.

"I know."

"This is the way to _your_ place."

"I know." Josh repeated.

"Why are we going this way?" Donna asked studying Josh's face curiously.

"Because you're staying with me." Josh said casually. Like it was an everyday occurrence to take Donna home with him. To stay with him. Hey, that wasn't a bad thought.

"Josh," Donna said warily, "this isn't a good idea."

"Why not?" Josh asked slightly wounded. "You took care of me. Now I'm taking care of you."

"You were shot." Donna whispered. 

"You were mugged." Josh shrugged.

"It's different."

"It's really not." Josh said stealing a quick look at Donna, "You took care of me when I needed you. I'm only returning the favor."

"What about Amy?" Donna asked wringing her hands.

Shrugging his shoulders, Josh watched as Donna twisted her hands. "_What_ about Amy?"

"Josh." Donna sighed.

Laying a hand over Donna's hands, Josh smiled reassuringly. "Don't worry about Amy. Don't worry about anything. Just concentrate on getting better."

Donna didn't know how he did it, but Josh always managed to reassure her with that smile. Squeezing his hand, Donna nodded. "Okay."

"Okay." Josh said holding Donna's hand tightly and navigating the roads to his home and her temporary one. He could do this. He could be there for _his_ Donnatella Moss.

`~`~`~`~`~`~`

Chapter #12 will be out soon. Sorry for the delay. Playing catch up with other sites and trying to relocate my muse. Haha. Feedback makes me smile. Thanks for reading! ;]

-Lucy


	12. Many things will catch your eye, but few...

Title: Dark Depths

Author: Lucy Mars

Disclaimer: Nope, not mine.....but ABS was nice enough to share them with all of us. ;] 

****

Chapter #12

"Hungry?"

"Not really."

"Tired."

"No."

"Bored?"

"Annoyed." Donna replied smiling up at Josh.

"Do you want another pillow?" Josh asked stopping in front of Donna.

"I want you to sit down and take a deep breath." Donna laughed grabbing Josh's hand and tugging him so that he was seated on the couch beside her. He'd been running around his apartment trying to make sure that everything was okay. Fussing wasn't something that she'd ever seen Josh do. It was amusing and disconcerting all at once.

"You sure you don't want anything?" Josh asked skeptically.

"I'm sure."

"Water?"

"Josh!" Donna laughed shaking her head. 

"Okay." Josh said sheepishly. "Okay."

"Just relax. Take a deep breath. Take many deep breaths."

Smiling at Donna, Josh leaned back against the couch. "I thought that I was supposed to be taking care of you."

Shrugging her shoulders, Donna melted into the soft cushions. "I'm better at taking care of you."

"I just haven't had enough practice."

Rolling her eyes, Donna wasn't surprised that Josh would feel the need to get competitive about this too. "Okay."

"Does your head hurt?" Josh asked gently brushing some hair away from her face.

"A little." Donna admitted blushing under Josh's delicately touch and realizing that she was still holding his hand.

"Want a painkiller?" Josh asked shooting off of the couch and releasing her hand.

"No." Donna sighed missing the warmth of his hand already. God, she was pathetic.

"Are you okay?" Josh asked alarmed by her sigh.

"I'm fine." Donna snapped.

"I made up the guestroom." Josh said cautiously, trying not to make her mad. Or madder. "I ran over to your place and packed what I thought you would need."

"Thank you Josh." Donna mumbled feeling her face flush scarlet. He was only trying to be nice and she'd snapped at him. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you…"

"Hey, hey." Josh said sitting down beside Donna, "You are talking to the King of Anal. Remember?"

"You were recovering from a gunshot wound." Donna said softly, "I didn't expect you to be Mr. Nice. Hell, you're never Mr. Nice. I think that I would have been worried if you _were_ nice."

Glad that she was joking around with him, Josh let out the breath that he was holding. "I unpacked your clothes. Do you want to change into something more comfortable? I'm thinking of ordering some food…"

"You don't need to baby-sit me all day Josh. Do you need to go into work today?"

"Nope. I brought home some stuff that I might do, but nothing needs my attention right now."

"What about Amy?" Donna asked slowly.

"Why do you keep on asking about Amy?" Josh questioned.

"No reason." Donna said feeling her face heat up.

"Are you sure?" Josh asked regarding her skeptically.

"Of course." Donna said getting up slowly.

"Where are you going?" Josh asked in alarm.

"I'm going to go and change." Donna clarified. "I could use some comfortable pajamas."

"Okay." Josh said feeling his stomach resettle. "I packed those blue flannel ones that you like."

"You remembered." Donna said surprised. "I didn't expect you to remember."

"I did." Josh said feeling his lips curve up at her pleased expression. "You would come home from work tired or upset, and change into those pajamas right away."

__

Home. She had come home. Not back to his place…but home. Smiling, Donna played with the edge of her sleeve. "You saw those pajamas a lot that summer."

"I did. I think that you need to get new ones." 

"Why?"

"They look a little worn."

"I've worn them a lot lately." Donna blurted out. Well, so much for not wearing her heart on her sleeve. Hopefully Josh would be Josh and not make the connections.

"Yeah?" Josh asked feeling guilt settle in on him. Was it him that drove her to wear her _comfy_ pajamas?

"Yeah." Donna murmured not meeting Josh's curious eyes. "I'm going to go change."

"You need help?"

Shooting Josh a wanton smile, Donna raised an amused eyebrow. "I can dress myself Josh."

"I meant getting to the guestroom, dork." Josh laughed feeling his own face begin to heat up.

"Sure." Donna laughed as she braced the wall with one hand and made her way down the hall.

"I'm going to order some food." Josh yelled as he made his way to his kitchen. "What do you feel like?"

"Whatever is fine." Donna called as she opened the door to the guestroom and found it spotless. Smiling, she couldn't believe that he'd gone to all this trouble. The junk that he usually kept in here was neatly stacked in the closet and the sheets even looked clean. Her clothes were even neatly hung in the closet and all the girlie accessories that Josh would tease her about were sitting comfortably on the nightstand. Everything looked right at home. Like it all belonged in Josh's apartment.

And right in the middle of the bed were her comfy blue pajamas and Josh's thick wool socks. Picking up the socks, Donna happily kicked her shoes off and slipped Josh's favorite socks on. He even remembered that her feet got cold on his hardwood floors. Josh could be so sweet when he wanted to be. Or was it because of her that he was being extra sweet? Or was it because he loved her that he... 

Her mood plummet back towards reality when she noticed a bright Tahitian accessory sticking out of a box that was shoved in the closet; Donna shook the ridiculous thoughts out of her head. Josh was just being nice. There was nothing to read into. Nothing to be analyzed and picked apart. Nothing that would be a sign that Josh cared. Nothing that would indicate that Joshua Lyman liked her _liked_ her. 

Sighing sadly, Donna gingerly unbuttoned her shirt and slowly slipped it off. Careful of her tender arms and the fresh sores. Her body still ached with the angry black and blue bruises that stood out on her pale skin. Grabbing the top half of her pajamas, Donna hastily put them on. She didn't want to have to look at the offending and painful reminders any longer that she had too. 

--------

Anxious and slightly anal, Josh wanted to call out and ask Donna if she needed help, but he knew what it was like to be smothered. He didn't want to smother Donna. He wanted to help her. Be there for her. Hold her hand. Okay…maybe do more than just hold her hand, but he wanted to be a comfort. A comfort in times of hardship and turmoil.

Quietly making his way to the guest room, Josh felt his heart jump a beat when he caught a peek of Donna gingerly slipping off her shirt through the slightly ajar door. Any inappropriate thoughts regarding him and Donna quickly dissipated though when Josh caught a glance at all the harsh bruises mapped over her elegant back and long arms. Arousal was replaced with anger and nausea. Anger that some bastard could do that to _his_ Donnatella, and nausea that the same bastard had almost done worse. Swallowing the lump growing in his throat, Josh quickly made his way back to the living room. He needed to lie down. He needed to hit something. He needed to be here for Donna. He wanted to kill the bastard who dared hurt _his_ Donnatella. Taking deep breaths, Josh tiredly lay down on the sofa and closed his eyes. He needed to pull it together if he was going to be a steady source of support for Donna. He couldn't fall apart when she needed him. The last thing that Donna needed to do was pull together Josh and his fractured psyche while falling apart herself. 

Rubbing his eyes furiously, Josh took deep calming breaths and wondered how Donna did it? How did she manage to be there for him, while supporting herself? How did she hold his broken body and mind together when he wanted nothing more than to fall apart? More importantly, _why_? She was an amazing woman, that Donnatella Moss. A stronger person than he. Donna. Donna. Donna...he loved her.

--------

Gradually making her way back to the living room, Donna was ready to call out for Josh when she noticed a familiar unruly mop of hair propped up on the sofa. Chuckling to herself, Donna gently laid the quilt that she'd given him for Hanukkah over his peacefully sleeping form. He had to be exhausted. Two consecutive nights sleeping in a hospital chair couldn't have been that comfortable or yielding. Left in peace to study his serene face, Donna had almost forgotten how innocent and calm Josh looked when under the Sandman's spell. Also, how beautiful he looked. Beauty and Josh may sound odd together, but it was true. Joshua Lyman was beautiful in her eyes. 

"Silly thoughts." Donna whispered to herself as she pulled away from Josh. "Stupid thoughts." she sighed backing away from Josh's intoxicating face. 

Making her way to the familiar kitchen, Donna went about making herself some tea. She didn't know why, but she wasn't surprised that Josh had left his kitchen the way that she had organized it. Everything was exactly the way that she had left it. From the tea on the first shelf on the left, to the coffee beans sitting in the side bar of the fridge. It was almost like she'd never left. Almost. The leftover rum, sitting right in plain sight, from his Tahitian night with Amy was a screeching reminder that things had changed. _And_ that they **were** silly thoughts. Stupid irrational foolish thoughts. Byproducts of the painkillers Donna rationalized. She was merely seeing something that wasn't there. She was letting her imagination run away with her. She was hopelessly in love with a man who didn't love her back. Putting her head down on the table, Donna sighed for what felt like the hundredth time in the past hour. She needed to think about something else. She needed to get her mind out of this cycle. She needed to work. 

Padding around his apartment, Donna finally located Josh's backpack discarded in his bedroom. Needless to say, Donna got out of there as fast as possible. No need to accidentally find another reminder of Amy in Josh's bedroom. NO. That was not something that Donna needed right now. Or ever for that matter. 

Emptying out the contents on the kitchen table, Donna mustered up a small false smile. This was exactly what she needed. She needed to lose herself in this work before she lost herself in Josh and her silly silly thoughts. Pulling her hair back into a tight ponytail and pushing up her sleeves, Donna dug in. This was exactly what she need. Work was exactly what she needed. Maybe if she repeated that enough, she would begin to believe it. 

--------

Blinking away the fogged remnants of sleep, Josh slowly sat up and stretched away the knots in his neck. Did he fall asleep? When did he fall asleep? When did he pull this quilt over himself? God, he loved this quilt. It was so soft. Donna bought it for him for Hanukkah. Donna! Donna. Where was Donna? Why did Donna let him sleep?!

Kicking his legs off of the couch, Josh followed the distinctive smell of food and distinct sound of paper rustling. Finding his senses leading him to the kitchen, Josh stopped right at the threshold and shook his head in amazement as she watched Donna work diligently. "You're breaking the rules."

"Joshua!" Donna yelped jumping in her seat. "Don't do that."

"Do what?" Josh asked innocently slipping into the seat beside Donna.

"Scare me like that." Donna reprimanded hitting him on the arm.

"What are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing?" Donna asked rolling her eyes.

"It looks like you're breaking the rules." Josh said eyeing the neat piles of paper spread out over his rarely used kitchen table. 

"I'm organizing the chaos that is your life." Donna corrected.

"Rest, Donna." Josh sighed taking the pen out of her restless hand. "You are supposed to rest. Not let me rest."

"Josh, you were tired. So you napped. Big deal. I won't tell." Donna teased.

"Donna," Josh said seriously, "you don't need to do this."

"I know." Donna shrugged. "Honestly, I needed the distraction."

"From what?" Josh asked curiously.

"Nothing." Donna lied quickly. Yeah. Smooth. Why not just take out an add in the Post declaring her love for Josh and hate for Amy? The painkillers were taking away her edge.

"Are you sure?" 

"Yeah. Are you hungry?" Donna asked desperate to change the subject. "The food got here awhile ago."  
  
"You didn't eat?" Josh asked noticing the unopened bags. "Why didn't you eat?"

"I thought that I would wait for you." Donna said busying herself with clearing off the table.

"Really?" Josh asked feeling disgustingly pleased.

"Yeah."

"Okay." Josh said taking the papers out of Donna's hands and getting up, "I'll get the plates. You sit right here."

"You're going to serve me?" Donna asked playfully.

"Don't get use to it." Josh laughed.

"I'll try." Donna laughed watching Josh walk around his kitchen grabbing plates and utensils. "You sure you don't want any help?"

"Stay." Josh commanded as he set the table.

"Don't need to tell me twice." Donna laughed.

"How long was I asleep?" Josh asked as he dished out the food.

"An hour. Two tops."

"Did anyone call?" Josh asked popping the plates into his microwave. Sam had promised to call and tell Josh how the meeting with Agriculture went.

"Nope. No one called." Donna replied. She had to bite her tongue from telling Josh to call Amy if he wanted to talk to her. 

"Okay." Josh said putting the food down. "Lets eat."

--------

"Nick at Nite?"

"No."

"Fox?"

"No."

"HBO?"

"I refuse to watch Sex in the City."

"Josh," Donna laughed nudging his shoulder with her, "it's a funny show. It has won numerous awards from..."

"Donna." Josh laughed, "No."

"Fine." Donna sighed.

"CNN?" Josh asked hopefully.

"You'll yell at Aaron Brown." Donna frowned. "I won't watch it you'll yell at Aaron Brown."

"I hate how he pauses while talking." Josh pointed out.

"I know you do." Donna smiled.

"C-Span?"

"No."

"Why not?" Josh asked trying to take the remote from Donna.

"Because I said so." Donna said holding the remote out of reach.

"Good reason." Josh said sarcastically.

"I know." Donna grinned flipping through the channels.

"Stop!" 

"Oh no." Donna mocked groaned.

"Donna, it's a perfectly good show. Chalk full of entertainment."

Eyeing Josh skeptically, Donna tried to hide her smile. "Really?"

"Yes." Josh said indignantly.

"Eating roaches is entertaining?"

"No." Josh said watching the _Fear Factor _logo flash across his screen, "Eating it myself would be gross."

"However watching another person eat it would be exhilarating?" Donna asked.

"Exactly." Josh grinned settling in to watching Fear Factor.

"Okay." Donna laughed. "It's better than listening to you argue with news anchors."

  
"You don't like listening to me debate with news anchors?" Josh asked with mock hurt. "Donna, that hurts."

"Shut up," Donna laughed hitting him with a pillow. "and watch your stupid show."

"Okay." Josh laughed comfortably seated with Donna at his side. See, this was what he had missed. Sitting with Donna. Just hanging out. Just being them.

"What are you thinking about?"

  
"What?" Josh asked stupidly.

"You had your thinking face on. What were you thinking about?"

"Thinking face?" Josh asked trying to misdirect Donna.

"Yeah. You get that big crease in your forehead when you're thinking about something."

"Donna, you are _way_ too observant."

Shrugging, Donna watched as a contestant leaped off a moving truck. "I notice things. Sue me."

"I notice things too." Josh offered.

"Like what?" Donna asked looking up at his grinning face.

"Like how tired you are."

"I am not." Donna lied. She was. She was exhausted, but she didn't to leave. Not yet. It had been so long since they had last spent some time together. Donna wasn't ready to let the night end yet. Not yet. 

"Yes you are." Josh countered.

"No, I'm not." Donna said stubbornly.

"You've been stifling yawns for the last half an hour." Josh pointed out. "Not to mention the fact that you keep getting that droopy smile on your face."

"What?" Donna asked surprised. What droopy smile?

"And, you keep playing with the edge of your sleeve." Josh continued. See, he could be observant when it came to Donna.

"No I'm not." Donna said hurrying to stop. Anyways, that wasn't because she was sleepy. It was the close proximity of Josh that was causing her to do that.

"I think that it's time for bed."

"Not yet." Donna pouted.

"Yes." Josh said getting up and tugging at Donna's hand.

"How about..."

"No." Josh said leading Donna towards the guestroom. "Sleep. Slumber. Rest, remember?"

"Like you'd let me forget." Donna sighed following Josh.

"I'll see you in the morning." Josh smiling.

"Fine." Donna huffed sitting down in the center of the bed.

"You need anything?"

"No." Donna said smiling softly. "Thank you."

"Okay. Good night." Josh said handing at the door. Not ready to let her out of his sight yet.

"Night."

"I'm just down the hall..."

"I know Josh." Donna smiled climbing under the sheets. "Good night."

"Sweet dreams." Josh grinned.

Watching Josh shut the door softly, Donna pulled the covers tightly around herself. Sleep caught up with her quickly. 

Sleeping peacefully, Josh shot awake as a scream pierced the dark night. His feet hit the ground running just as the second scream echoed through his dark apartment. 

`~`~`~`~`~`~`

Ha! I'm evil I know. *Whoa! Lucy ducks the flying objects* Sorry. Sorry. Evil me. Evil cliff hanger too, I know! ;] I'll post chapter #13 soon. Wow, this is a lot longer than I had originally imagined. Bear with me. I'll post more soon. Feedback makes me write faster. *hint hint* Review please! ;]

-Lucy


	13. You never know when you're making a memo...

Title: Dark Depths

Author: Lucy Mars

Disclaimer: *sigh* Oh, if wishing made it so. ;] However, I do get to do anything I want to Amy.

****

*Thank you for the amazing feedback. ;] 

Chapter #13

Donna was wheezing, her arms wrapped around herself. She struggled to sit up in bed. Her sheets a tangled mess around her frantic legs and entrapping her in her nightmare. 

"Donna!" Josh yelled rushing into the room and finding her struggling against invisible demons. Rushing to her side, Josh grabbed her twisting and turning shoulders. "Donna?"

Sitting up right, her eyes snapped open. But her usually sparkling eyes were blank. Dark and void as her nightmare continued to rage on in the darkness of the night. Donna drank air hungrily into her deprived lungs. It was as if someone had tried to suffocate her. 

Sitting down beside her, Josh pulled Donna right up against him. He began rubbing comforting circles on her back. "It's all right. It's all right. Did you have a nightmare?"

Slowly, excruciatingly slowly, her breathing began to steady, but it still hurt to breathe. It was as if someone had clouted her in the ribs. Adding another bruise to the wealthy collection that she already had. Whimpering in fear as consciousness seeped back into her, Donna couldn't talk yet. She didn't want to talk.

"That's good. Just breathe." Josh soothed still holding onto Donna's limp frame. "I'm here. Nothing's going to hurt you. _No one_ is going to hurt you." Josh promised.

Her face was buried in his shoulder and her arms lay limp at her sides. Her nightmare seemed to have drained away all her strength. The last bit of courage that she had left was robbed from her. How did something, a creation of her own mind, be so powerful? Then suddenly with a burst of energy, Donna threw her arms around Josh and held on tight. 

"I'm real. I'm real." Josh assured. "I'm solid and I'm mean. Nobody is going to hurt you Donna. It's okay."

Donna didn't say anything, but Josh could feel her harsh breaths against his flesh. Her heart was still racing and her nightmare was still too vivid. Too real. Too scary. 

"You're okay." Josh whispered feeling Donna tighten her hold on him, "It was a nightmare. Just a nightmare."

"I know." Donna whispered her voice hoarse. "I'm all right now."

Josh tried to pull away, but Donna held on tight. He could feel her shivering. "It's really okay. You can let go now. I'm not going anywhere."

"I don't think I want to." Donna confessed, "Give me a few more minutes, Josh. Not yet." She tightened her grip.

She was still shivering. Donna shook with fear in his arms, and there was nothing that he could do about it. "Okay." Josh answered tightening his own grip on Donna. "Okay."

Her eyes scanning the four corners of the dark room for hiding demons, Donna shivered uncontrollably as fear racked her tired mind.

"Donna. Donna." Josh whispered tightening his hold on her, "It's okay. I'm right here."

"I know." Donna replied softly.

"Are you okay?"

"No." Donna whispered hoarsely. "No."

"I'm sorry." Josh choked out.

"I was so scared." Donna admitted clutching at Josh's cotton T-shirt. Inhaling his comforting sent, Donna let herself melt into his embrace. Let Josh protect her.

"I know." Josh said gently. "I know you were."

"I don't like this Josh. I don't like being scared."

"I know. I know." Josh sighed sadly. "Lie down Donna." Josh soothed, "Try to sleep."

If anything, Donna gripped onto his tighter.

"I promise you that everything is okay now. Listen to me, you have to let go." Josh said gently. "You need to rest. Your mind is going crazy it's so tired. Trust me. I'm speaking from experience here."

"No." Donna whimpered feeling fear creep back into her, "Don't go. Not yet."

"You need some sleep." 

"No. I can't."

"You need too."

"Stay." Donna asked looking up at Josh with her wide and frightened eyes. Yeah, as if he could have said no to that.

"All right." Josh said getting under the covers with Donna. Lying down on his back, Josh pulled Donna's still shivering body right against him. Hoping to share his warmth with her. Pulling the covers right up to her ears, Josh formed a makeshift cocoon. 

Donna lay stiffly as she waited for the fear to melt away. She wanted the images to go away. How long would this haunt her? Settling her face on his strong and steady chest, Donna didn't think about all the consequences, the impropriety of lying in bed with her boss or how this would affect their already unbalanced relationship. The only thing Donna was thinking about was how safe Josh made her feel. How protected she felt when in his strong arms. If only she could stay here forever. In his arms. In his embrace. In his heart. Okay, Donna thought sighing, Josh was right. A rare occurrence. She needed some sleep.

"It's okay." Josh said hugging Donna's stiff body against his warm one. Stroking her back lightly, Josh waited for Donna to ease under his touch.

Yielding under Josh's mesmerizing touch, Donna loosened her grip on his T-shirt. She still held a handful of the cottony material, but not for dear life. Just as a connection.

Bringing his hand up to cover hers, Josh intertwined their fingers and smiled to himself when he felt her bring their joined hands up to her chin. Tucking it securely beneath her chin and holding on tight. 

"Do you want to talk about it?" Josh asked after what felt like an eternity. He felt her jerk and her breath fan quickly over their hands. She was still afraid. He waited. For Donna. Josh would wait for eternity.

"It was a nightmare." Donna said finally. "A stupid nightmare. I didn't think that I would have it again…"

"Again?" Josh asked jumping in. "You mean that you've had it before? Why didn't you tell me?"

Donna was quiet for a very long time. At least she wasn't shuddering anymore. Josh was hoping that she would keep talking. Getting Donna to open up, Josh realized, was going to be hard. Harder than getting Members of Congress and Senators to do what he wanted..............and ultimately more important. She was important. So important that it scared him sometimes. "Talk to me Donna." Josh pleaded. "Please."

It was dark, the middle of the night, she was cocooned in blankets against Josh, she was finally feeling safe, her mind wasn't on alert, and so she said, her breath warm and light against his skin, "It was happening again. Only this time, I didn't get away. Nobody saved me. I didn't get away Josh."

Her words piercing his heart, Josh pulled Donna closer against him. Trying to calm his own fears by holding onto her and reassuring himself that she really was all right. She was all right. That was all that mattered. Only, his heart didn't seem to stop aching with that knowledge.

"But you did." Josh said firmly and with more courage than he felt. "You're okay, Donna. You're okay. No one is going to hurt you. I promise."

"Don't make promises that you can't keep." Donna whispered her tone somber and sorrowful.

"I keep my promises Donna." Josh said seriously as he tightened his hold on her. "I won't let anyone hurt you. Ever."

Letting silence reclaim the dark room, Donna let his words soak into her and warm the ice inside of her. "I believe you." Donna said truthfully. She didn't know why, but she did. She trusted Josh. Through her fear and anxiety, Donna felt his words calm her racing heart. "I believe you."

Lying in bed with Donna, Josh waited and listened as her breathing returned to normal. Holding her, he tried to calm his own racing heart. It didn't go unnoticed that her body molded perfectly against his. That they did indeed fit together like a perfect pair. In so many ways, Josh thought as he stroked Donna's hair. In so many ways.

"Josh?"

"Yeah?" Josh answered trying to clear his hazy mind. Having Donna so close to him was intoxicating and exhilarating.

Lightly rubbing the back of his hand with her thumb, Donna whispered softly, trying not to wear her heart on her sleeve. "Thank you."

"My pleasure." Josh said quickly kissing the top of her head. He understood. Man, did he understand.

"Josh?" Donna asked timidly.

"Yeah?"

"Will you stay until I fall asleep?" Donna asked shifting and looking up at his warm brown eyes.

"Yeah." Josh answered holding onto Donna as she resettled herself against him. "I will."

-----------

Stirring under the bright morning light, Josh leisurely pulled away from the Sandman's spell and rejoined the real world. Sleep still sat in dark corners of his mind, but the bright light pouring in from the window cleared it out quickly. Wait. Window? 'The window is on the wrong side of the room.' Josh thought as he tried to bring his arm up to block the blazing sun. However, moving proved to be more complicated when another body was practically lying on top of you. 

Lifting his head off the unfamiliar pillow, Josh felt his heart flutter when he saw a familiar sleeping blonde head sitting squarely on his chest. 'Okay,' Josh thought taking a deep breath, 'this is different. Nice, but definitely different.'

Donna was sleeping peacefully against Josh. Her hair fanning over his chest and lightly brushing against his cheek. Their legs were tangled together with an intimate knowledge, her arm was comfortably thrown over Josh's chest and their hands were still intertwined together. Still, after a night and partial morning of sleep, were their hands tucked under Donna's chin. Safe keeping, Josh supposed.

Feeling a grin spilt across his face, Josh laid his head back against the pillow. Yeah, he could get use to waking up like this every morning.

---------

Lulled away from sleep by a gentle hand stroking her back, Donna gradually opened her eyes to find a new day greet her. Along with Joshua Lyman smiling down at her. Oh, she could get use to waking up like this.

"Morning." Josh said still grinning. His cheeks were getting sore, but he couldn't seem to stop grinning. He was convinced that any second now he would start giggling like a schoolgirl. 

"Morning." Donna replied feeling her face flush four different shades of red when she realized the position the two of them seemed to have worked into after a sound night, and morning it seemed, of sleep.

"How do you feel?" Josh asked letting his hand moved from her back up to her face. "Head hurt?"

"No." Donna said breathlessly. No worries, Donna thought to herself as Josh gently traced her cheek, she could attribute the breathlessness to...something. No worries. Oh hell, she was screwed.

"Did you sleep okay?" Josh asked watching his hand take on a life of its own and trace the soft contours of Donna's face.

"Good." Donna answered. Yeah. Uh huh. Do you see? One syllable words. That's what Joshua Lyman has reduced her too. One syllable words. If he keeps doing that thing with his hand, Donna knew that she was going to be reduced to whimpering in response.

"Yeah?" Josh asked feeling his grin grow. In his arms she slept good. Who da' man? Yeah baby, he da' man.

"Yeah." Donna answered. Maybe, if she had a little more will power, Donna would have untangled herself from Josh and tiptoed out of this dangerous area....but the truth was, she was tired. If Josh wanted, he could be the instigator in this one. Josh could be the one to walk them back to where they were suppose to be. Where they stood attentively for so many years. Let Josh be the one to bring the banter this time. He could fill the awkward pauses and unsaid words left hanging in the air. Donna wasn't going to do it this time. Let Josh do it.....if he wanted too. God, she hoped that he didn't want too. 

Taking a deep breath, Donna waited for Josh to make some kind of joke or excuse to get out of bed, but it never came. Josh didn't say anything or make any move to even extract himself from what should be an uncomfortable situation. All he did was stroke her arm, which by the way felt amazing. Taking a deep breath, Donna lightly fingered Josh's soft and downy shirt. "Josh?"

"Yeah?" Josh asked never stopping his movements on her arm.

"Thank you."

"For what?" Josh asked looking down at Donna's slightly flushed face.

"For staying." Donna whispered watching Josh's eyes sparkle under the morning light. At least she thought that it was the morning light doing that. "For being here when I needed you." she said simply.

Wrapping both his arms around Donna, Josh held her tight. "I'll always be here."

"Will you?" Donna asked watching Josh intently.

"Yes." Josh said seriously. "I will always be here."

"Why?" Donna blurted out. Shocked with her own boldness, she looked up with Josh with wide eyes. His own eyes were wide and surprised. Starring at Donna with disbelief and maybe a little bit of shock. 

Disgusted with herself and lack of self control, Donna tried to pull away from Josh. No. This isn't what she wanted. _What?_ Donna had managed to master denial. After three years she had 'I'm not in love with Joshua Lyman' down to an art. She was a master in this particular field of denial. "I'm sorry. Ignore me. It's just...I'm just..." Donna rambled trying to untangle their limbs.

"Donna. Donna. Donna." Josh said sitting up and not letting her out of his arms. "Where are you going?"

"I'm not sure exactly." Donna stuttered not meeting Josh's eyes.

"Don't go." Josh said lifting Donna's down turned face to look at his. "Don't go."

"What are you doing?" Donna whispered watching Josh bring her face up to his.

"Ending our platonic friendship." Josh whispered as he leaned in to kiss Donna. Oh god, he could spend his whole life doing this.

Her breath catching in her chest, Donna froze when Josh brought their lips together. After a second of disbelief, Donna fell into it. Their lips danced and their souls connected. Though it could probably be argued that their souls connected a long time ago. Bring her hands up, Donna weaved her fingers through Josh's soft hair and deepened the kiss. Oh yeah. She really could wake up like this.

Kissing Donna was as amazing as Josh had ever imagined it to be. This is what it was suppose to be like. This is what he'd been missing all his life. Donna.

Pulling away a fraction of an inch, Donna looked up at Josh stunned and slightly amused.

"What?" Josh asked grinning at Donna and her shinning lips.

"You're wrong." Donna pointed out playing with his hair.

"About what?" Josh asked trying to figure out where she was going with this. Well, excuse him. His brain was lacking blood at the moment. Yeah.

"Our relationship was never platonic." Donna laughed pulling Josh and those luscious lips back to dance with hers.

His laughter turning into a groan when Donna pushed him back onto the bed. Yeah, he really could get use to waking up like this. Suddenly, forever didn't seem like long enough.

`~`~`~`~`~`

Ta Da! Chapter #13 baby! ;] Back to back updates. Do I love you guys, or what? I know. I know. The last cliffhanger was evil....but doesn't this make up for it? Hmm? I thought so. ;] Haha. Hope that you enjoyed this chapter. I'm thinking I'm not done yet.......cause what JoshandDonna story is complete without angst? Maybe LockJaw......*cough*... um, I meant Amy, [of course you all knew that already!] will grace my fic once more. Hmmm. Should I or shouldn't I? Either way, not quite done with this yet. Hope you stay tuned!!! ;] Feedback makes my day..........and I consequently write faster too. ;]

-Lucy 


	14. Don't count your days. Make your days co...

Title: Dark Depths

Author: Lucy Mars

Disclaimer: I don't own 'em. I'll play nice and return them when I'm done. Well...maybe not with Amy. ;]

****

Chapter #14

Pulling away from Donna's flushed face, Josh couldn't help mirror her silly grin. "I think that we've skipped some steps." Josh said breathlessly. 

"What?" Donna asked looking up at Josh. She completely missed what he'd just said. What? It wasn't her fault. Making out with Joshua Lyman had that effect on her. Or at least now she had the proper experience to say that. Oh, she could spend the rest of her life figuring out exactly what Josh could do to her. 

His grin morphing into a self satisfied smirk, Josh lightly ran his fingers over Donna's significantly swollen lips. She was still reeling from the power of his kiss. Kisses actually. Who da' man? Oh, yeah baby. He da' man.

"Get that smirk off your face." Donna laughed smacking Josh on the arm. She knew that smirk. It was his bloody, who da' man smirk.

"What?" Josh asked trying to smile innocently. It probably should be noted that he was trying unsuccessfully to stop smirking. Which only caused Donna to laugh at him.

"You are such a dork." Donna laughed rolling off of Josh and lying down on her back.

"Where are you going?" Josh asked propping his head on his hand and grinning down at Donna's still significantly flushed face.

Starring up at the ceiling, Donna tried to get her racing heart under control and clear her hazy mind. 'What were they doing?' she wondered as reality began to set in and weigh down her leaping heart.

"Donna?" Josh asked tracing invisible lines on her arm. What was she thinking about?

"What are we doing?" Donna asked turning her slowly clearing eyes at Josh.

"Donna." Josh laughed waggling his eyebrows suggestively, "If you don't know what we were doing, that means that I'm going to have to clarify. Again and again." Josh said seductively as he leaned over to kiss her again.

"Josh." Donna asked seriously putting her hand against his chest to stop him.

"What?" Josh asked looking down at Donna's wide eyes. The playfulness and eagerness that he'd seen dancing in her eyes earlier was gone. Replaced with anxiety and, maybe a little bit of fear.

"What are we doing?" Donna repeated gesturing at the little space between them. "I'm lying in bed making out with my boss. I think that somewhere, in some book, this is a no no."

"We," Josh said capturing Donna's hands in his, "are being us."

"Us?" Donna asked unconsciously lacing her fingers with Josh.

"Us." Josh repeated squeezing Donna's hands. "Josh and Donna."

"Josh and Donna?" 

"Are you going to repeat everything that I say?" Josh asked pulling Donna against his chest and lying back down. This was what heaven was. Lying in bed with Donnatella Moss in his arms. This was what he'd been missing all his life.

"There's an 'us?'" Donna asked resting her head squarely over Josh's strong heart.

"There's been an _us_ for a long time Donna." Josh chuckled.

"Yeah?" Donna asked looking up at Josh.

"Yeah." Josh said pulling Donna back up for a kiss. Or kisses actually.

Melting against Josh, Donna let her fears take a back seat for now. Making out with Josh was much more entertaining. 

__

Oh yeah, that thing Josh did with his tongue…yeah, that effected her too.

--------

"What do you think that they're doing right now?" Sam asked slipping into his seat.

"If Josh hasn't professed his undying love by now," Toby muttered looking down at his watch, "then I'm out fifty bucks."

"Too early Toby," CJ sighed sipping her coffee, "too early. Your money and fifty from Sam will be sitting pretty in my hands. I've got three hours before Josh needs to do anything of the sort."

"I'm got till tonight." Sam spoke up. "I put my money down for tonight."

"Josh may be an idiot," CJ snorted, "but not that big an idiot."

"CJ's right." Toby said pretending to work, "Josh wouldn't wait until tonight to make a move. He's been itching to do _something _since he saw Donna lying there pale and bruised."

"Yeah." CJ sighed thinking about Donna and how scared they all were that night.

"We agree that if Josh doesn't do it by tomorrow, then we're stepping in…right?" Sam asked trying to get a look at what Toby was scribbling.

"Yeah." Toby said frowning at Sam and moving his yellow legal pad so that Sam couldn't see what he was writing.

"Who exactly is in on the original pool?" Sam asked rolling his eyes at Toby. "I can't remember, we did it so long ago."

"Leo," CJ said ticking off her fingers as she counted, "Margaret, Ginger, Ed, Larry, Carol, Ainsely, Charlie, Abby and the President. Just enough to make the pool interesting, but not enough to become common knowledge."

"I think that was shot to hell when Leo told Margaret." Toby replied.

"The President put his money down for when?" Sam asked trying to remember. If he wasn't so tired he'd pull out his laptop and check the dates for sure.

"Two weeks from now." Toby mumbled. "Ginger and Margaret are out. They said Christmas."

"And Ed put his money down for a month ago." CJ laughed.

"When Josh was thinking about taking Amy Gardner to Tahiti?" Sam asked laughing.

"Oh yeah," CJ nodded, "he wasn't too happy about being out eighty bucks."

"Did you tell him to suck it up and take it like a man?" Sam asked grinning.

"Of course." CJ laughed leaning back against Toby's sofa.

"Amy Gardner." Toby said looking up at CJ and Sam. "What is the deal with her and Josh now? They still…you know."

"I don't know." Sam said frowning. "Are she and Josh still dating?"

"Were they ever?" CJ asked, "It never really seemed like a relationship."

"It wasn't." Toby said answering CJ's question. "It was random sex, if anything."

Laughing, Sam got up. "I've still got to do the thing."

"Bye Spanky."

"CJ. CJ." Sam sighed shaking his head, "Too much coffee."

"No such thing." CJ rebutted. "You're money, along with Toby's, is going to buy my Gail something nice for her bowl later."

"Don't be so confident." Sam said leaving the room.

"You do have some work to do in your own office?" Toby asked looking up pointedly at CJ.

"Yes, actually." CJ said getting up.

"Thank god." Toby said grinning at CJ.

"I am going to go and think about what I'm going to spend your money on." CJ said smugly.

Grinning, Toby handed CJ some money. "Here."

"What's this for?" CJ asked looking at the crisp bills in her hand.

"Katie is in on the pool now." Toby said calmly turning back to his work.

"What?!" CJ asked getting right in Toby's face. "You told a reporter about the pool…_and_ you let her in on it? Are you insane?"

"No." Toby replied unconcerned.

"Toby," CJ growled, "you're killing me here."

"I let her in on the pool CJ." Toby sighed, "Get over it. She's not going to tell anyone."

Studying Toby seriously, CJ felt a smile tug at her lips when it all fell in place. "Katie from the Times, Katie?"

"Yes." Toby grumbled.

"When did you let her in?" CJ asked.

"Yesterday."

"Ahhhh." CJ said grinning at Toby.

"Ah, what?" Toby growled looking up at CJ.

"Ah, I know what you did now."

"And what exactly do you suspect I did?" Toby asked.

Putting the money into her pocket, CJ grabbed Toby's pencil and his post-it pad. "Ah, as in I know what you did now to keep her quiet."

"I didn't do anything to keep her quiet." Toby argued.

"Then what did you do exactly?"

"Katie and I merely came to an understanding, and if letting her into a pool that she _suspected_ existed only proved to sway her over to my side, then so be it."

"Okay." CJ laughed. "What date did Katie choose?"

"August 24th." Toby said simply.

"Why August 24th?" CJ asked writing it down.

"Her daughters birthday."  


"Okay." CJ said handing Toby his pencil and sticking the little post-it inside her folder. "Does she realize that she's about to be out eighty bucks?"

"No," Toby said shaking his head. "and that's okay with me. If I'm going to lose some money, then she can lose some too."

--------

"Work?"

"Later."

"You said that half an hour ago."

"I like lying here with you." Josh said grinning at Donna.

"If you're lazy," Donna laughed, "just say so."

"Okay, I admit it."

"Shut up." Donna laughed hitting Josh.

"Just kidding." Josh laughed rolling over Donna and looking at the clock. Groaning, he put his head down on her chest. "No. I don't want to go to work."

"Get up." Donna said nudging Josh out of bed. "We need to get ready."

"Excuse me, _we_?" Josh asked sitting up.

"Yes, _we_." Donna said sitting up too and throwing the covers back.

"Wait." Josh said grabbing Donna's hand. "You're not going in."

"Yes, I am." Donna replied stubbornly.

"Rest." Josh said pulling her back into bed and trying to pull the covers over her.

"No," Donna whined pushing his hands away, "I did that yesterday."

"And you're going to do it today." Josh said pushing her hands away and trying to tuck her in. "You are going to spend Sunday sleeping in and yelling at the stupid Republicans on Wolf Blitzer."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes." Josh repeated.

"Josh," Donna pouted, turning the puppy dog eyes at him, "please."

"Oh no." Josh said putting a hand up to cover his eyes. "You're not going to trick me into saying yes."

"But Josh," Donna pouted climbing into his lap, "please. I'll be so bored home all by myself."

"Home?" Josh asked his hand falling away from his eyes and grinning at Donna. "Did you just say home?" he asked eagerly.

"N…n…no." Donna stuttered climbing out of Josh's lap. "No I didn't."

"Yes, yes you did." Josh said keeping Donna in his lap so that he could look at her. "You did Donna."

"No I didn't." Donna denied feeling her face heat up.

"You did." Josh said not bothering to keep the excitement out of his voice, "You said _home_."

Looking up at Josh, Donna tried to think about a way to talk her way out of this. A way to deny it without looking like she was denying it, but the way Josh was grinning at her eagerly just melted her heart. "It is possible that I said _home_." Donna finally conceded.

"Not a possibility." Josh said stroking Donna's beautiful face. "A fact. I heard you."

"And you're not freaked out?" Donna questioned honestly surprised.

"Why would I be freaked out?" Josh asked shaking his head in disbelief. He was ecstatic. Thrilled. Positively giddy. He was going to start giggling like a schoolgirl soon he was so happy.

"Because I just said _home_!" Donna exclaimed, "I just called _your _home MY home."

"So?" Josh asked completely calm.

  
"You _really_ are okay with it." Donna said awe in her voice.

"I am." Josh said holding Donna's face in his hands. "I'm not just okay with it. I'm ecstatic."

"Yeah?" Donna asked feeling her face mirroring Josh's silly grin.

"Yeah."

"Okay." Donna said running her hand through Josh's unruly hair.

"Well, maybe except for two things."

"Two things?" Donna asked feeling her stomach drop.

"Well, as much as I enjoy lying in bed with you," Josh sighed dramatically, "I would much rather be in my bed."

"Yeah?" Donna asked smirking and watching mischief dancing in Josh's eyes. He was such a dork sometimes.

"Yeah." Josh grinned, "It's much bigger."

"Bigger is good." Donna said playfully. "More room. More space. More fun."

"Great minds think alike." Josh laughed pushing Donna back down against the bed.

"The second thing?" Donna asked running her hands through Josh's silky soft hair. Oh, she could spend the rest of her life doing this.

"You living here is going to be very distracting." Josh whispered snaking his hand under Donna's cotton pajamas.

"Yeah?" Donna gasped arching her back against his amazing hands.

"Yeah." Josh whispered brushing his lips lightly over hers, "I'm always going to be late for staff."

"No you won't." Donna moaned letting her own hands slip under Josh's T-shirt. "You'll just be up earlier."

"Earlier is good." Josh moaned descending his eager lips on Donna's equally eager ones. Yes, as early as she wanted if he could do this every morning. Every morning for the rest of his life. 

`~`~`~`~`~`

You like? Mushy enough for you?!? ;] Haha. Hope you enjoyed this chapter. I knew I said that Amy would be back....and she will. Eventually. You know, when I can work her into my story line. ;] Haha. Enjoy and tell me what you thought. *hint hint* ;]

-Lucy


	15. Misunderstandings.

Title: Dark Depths

Author: Lucy Mars

  
Rating: PG-13 or R-ish for swearing. I happen to enjoy the word _Jackass_ on occasion...and this is one of them. ;]

Disclaimer: Ha! If they belonged to me, LockJaw would be sitting in the bottom of the Potomac. ;]

**Dum dum dum** I've finally got this chapter out! Woohoo! ;] Enjoy...and remember to tell me what you think!! *hint hint*

****

Chapter #15:

Watching Donna sleep with soft eyes, Josh couldn't help but grin. She was sleeping peacefully in is arms. Completely satisfied too. He was SO da' man. 

His eyes drifting towards the clock, Josh suppressed the groan that was climbing up his throat. Work. He was really late now. Really, really late. Ha! But it was worth it. 

He didn't want to get out of bed. What sane man would want to get out of bed when there was a beautiful, and we can't forget naked, Donnatella Moss lying there? Oh well, Josh never said that he was sane. 

Work. Right. Work. Leo, big old house that was white and no doubt a pile of work on his desk. He could do this. Josh could drag himself out of bed and into work. He could do it. He was strong. He was capable. Looking down at Donna, Josh couldn't help but be mesmerized by her amazingly long legs, which she'd skillfully tangled with his, and the slender arm that she'd thrown over his chest. He couldn't do it. He couldn't get out of bed. He was in love.

Sighing, Josh gently untangled his limbs from Donna's. Carefully, so that he wouldn't wake her. 'Not much chance of that though,' Josh though as he watched Donna roll onto her stomach, 'because he was da' man!' Pulling the sheet up to cover her bare back, Josh didn't know why but he wasn't surprised by how much he wanted her. There had never been a woman he'd ever wanted, or loved, this much. And he knew that there'd never be anyone else, because there was only one Donna. It would have been scary, if it wasn't Donna. But this wasn't scary. This was them. There was nothing scary about them. At times they could be quirky, bizarre and loud…oh, who knew Donna could be so loud in bed? Shaking his head, Josh had to turn his mind away from that. It wasn't a bad though, but probably not the best though to be having when on the way to work. 

Swallowing hard, Josh let his eyes take inventory of all the bruises laid out on her innocent body. Sleeping under the soft morning light, Donna didn't have the opportunity to shield away what she didn't want Josh to look at. Josh was left alone with his thoughts and the dark and bruised canvas that was Donna's soft skin. Someone did to her what should never be done. Some bastard hurt his Donnatella. The angry purples were slowly fading into a murky green, but that didn't make it any easier to look at.

Laying a gentle kiss on her shoulder, Josh tried to heal her. Donna had healed him. She pulled him back together when he wanted nothing more than to fall apart. Josh would never be able to repay her, but he'd spend the rest of his life trying. He would.

Josh let his lips roam to her neck before settling on the side of her mouth. Even in her sleep, Donna managed a small smile for Josh. Kneeling beside his bed, Josh let his hand gently stroke her hair as he watched her sleep. After what few like seconds, but really were many many minutes, Josh glanced up at the clock and even he knew he had to get a move on it. Kissing her shoulder one last time, Josh debated whether or not he should wake her. 

No. She needed to rest. Yes, rest was good. Rest was what she was going to do. Josh would make sure of it. She'd rest up, because the doctor said so, and those were the rules. Oh, how he loved being the enforcer this time around. Pay back was a bitch.

---------

Rolling over in her sleep, Donna reached over for Josh but found nothing more then cool sheets. Her fingers reaching for Josh desperately, Donna pulled away from the snug blanket of sleep to find herself lying in bed. Alone. All alone. Sitting up, Donna scanned the room for Josh…but he was nowhere to be found. She was lying, naked in bed, alone. So the sex hadn't been a dream, but had the tenderness and love she felt been a figment of her imagination? Suddenly feeling bare and exposed, Donna pulled the sheets tightly around herself. She tried to think. Not an easy task, considering the last few days and the most amazing sex she'd ever had, had taken quite the toll on her body. 

Liking her dry lips, Donna looked at the clock that she'd bought for Josh and realized that he must be at work. That was it. Josh had gone into work. There must have been a logical reason for him not waking her. She was worrying about nothing. Last night meant something. The last few days have meant something. The last few years have meant something. 

Josh didn't run. No. He didn't wake up and freak out. He knew what they were doing. He knew. He didn't run. He didn't regret it. 

There had to be a logical reason for him not waking her. He didn't run… She didn't scare him away. Josh wasn't scared. He wasn't. He wasn't scared when he peeled her clothes off. He wasn't scared when he caressed her and held her. He wasn't scared when they made love. No. He wasn't. He didn't seem scared. He couldn't have been scared…could he? No. There was no fear. There hadn't been any fear. No. He had no regrets. They didn't do anything wrong. Taking deep breaths, Donna felt her heart tighten when her eyes fell onto the familiar bright Tahitian accessory sticking out of a box that was shoved in the closet.

"Oh god," Donna whispered putting her face into her hands, "he regrets it."

---------

Trying not to look like he'd just had mind blowing sex with the most amazing woman as he wandered into the West Wing, Josh greeted everyone with an extra bounce in his step. Yeah, just call him the king of subtly. Screw it. He wasn't wearing his, I'VE JUST HAD SEX face anyway. Joshua Lyman was proudly displaying his, I'M IN LOVE WITH THE MOST AMAZING WOMAN face. An expression that Josh was sure he'd be wearing a lot from now on. It was an expression that he was sure a blind man could decipher. It didn't take a genius to figure it out. 

"Hey!" Sam called out, "Why are you so chipper?"

Okay, maybe not.

"Hello Samuel." Josh grinned pouring himself a cup of coffee. "How are you this fine morning?"

Regarding Josh strangely, Sam felt a knowing grin split across his face. "You seem extra happy today."

"The sun is shining, the birds are singing and we are working in the White House." Josh laughed leading Sam towards his office. "What more could a man ask for?"

"Texas to concede?"  


Laughing, Josh fell into his seat and propped his feet up on his desk. "It's a good day, Sam."

"Yeah?" Sam asked slipping into the visitor chair.

"Oh yeah." Josh grinned trying to send manly mental signals. The ones that meant that he was in love and he just had the best sex imaginable. 

"I'm happy for you." Sam grinned.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Good." Josh said sitting up. "Cause I've got something to tell you."

"What?" Sam asked sitting forward. He was happy for Josh, but if Josh was going to say what he though he was going to say, then Sam was about to be out fifty bucks. Along with eighty bucks from the original pool. A small price to pay for their happiness though.

"Actually," Josh said rethinking his strategy, "I'll tell you later." Josh couldn't screw this up. Leo was first. Josh couldn't jump the chain of command. Leo would have his head on a silver platter if he heard it from Sam...or Margaret for that matter. Sam wasn't exactly well known for keeping his lips sealed. No. Later. After Leo knew. 

"Later?" Sam echoed.

"Later." Josh confirmed getting up. He needed to see Leo now.

"Why?" Sam asked confused.

"Trust me," Josh grinned, "it'll be worth the wait."

"Okay." Sam said watching Josh walking out of his office with a definite purpose in his step. Counting to ten under his breath, Sam reached over and grabbed the phone on Josh's desk. Dialing a familiar extension, Sam waited for the ringing to stop. "The evidence seems to point in the direction of me being out fifty bucks."

"He's here?" CJ asked her head snapping up and looking down the hall towards Josh's office. "Where?"

"He went to see Leo." Sam said catching site of CJ.

"Yeah?" CJ asked feeling herself mirror Sam's grin. 

"Yeah."

"So," CJ said looking down at her watch, "do I owe Toby money, or is he gonna be guying my Gail something nice today?"

"I don't know. Josh wouldn't come right out and say it, but from the way he was strutting earlier, I'm thinking that he finally got it together."

"Donna here?" CJ asked, eager to get all the juicy details.

"I don't think so." Sam said picking up Josh's phone and looking out into the bullpen. "She isn't at her desk and I don't see her coat."

"Hmm," CJ said tapping her pen against her desk, "I wonder what that means."

"It means that Josh is being his overprotective and overbearing self, and didn't let Donna out of his apartment." Sam replied. "I wouldn't read too much into it."

"Okay," CJ said not entirely convinced, "okay."

"Do you think he went to _tell_ Leo?" Sam asked.

"Probably."

"How do you think Leo will react?"

"He'll go his gruff thing and then do his fatherly thing."

"Yeah," Sam grinned, "that sounds like Leo."

"The President probably won't be happy about losing though." CJ pointed out, "He's been pretty confident about winning the pool."

"Ah, he'll get over it." Sam said looking down the hall at CJ. "Ahh...CJ?"

"Yeah?"

"Why are we on the phone when I can see you from where I'm sitting?"

"Because," CJ said dramatically, "it adds to the mystique of this whole thing."

"Yeah?" Sam asked skeptical.

"Nah," CJ said shrugging her shoulders, "it's cause we're to lazy to get up and go to the other person."

"Yeah," Sam laughed, "that sounds just about right."

"You wanna go and tell Toby?" 

"Yeah." Sam said getting up. "You gonna go and call Donna now, aren't you?"

"No!" CJ said pretending to be appalled at the idea.

"CJ." Sam laughed.

"I'm go and stand outside Leo's door actually." CJ admitted throwing her glasses down.

"Don't bother." Sam grinned, "I'm sure that if anything happens, Margaret will be here to inform us immediately."

"True." CJ laughed.

---------

Her arms wrapped around herself, Donna tried to pull herself together. She needed to get it together. Sitting here and kicking herself wasn't going to do any good. No. She needed to…she needed to…oh god, what was she going to do? She should have listened to that tiny voice in her head. The one that told her no good could come of it. No good could come from wearing her heart on her sleeve. Donna should have taken her fears and held them up to Josh.

Taking a deep breath, Donna cringed when she realized that the room smelt like sex. Sex. She had sex with Josh. Groaning, Donna buried her face in her hands. This was not good. No. The sex was good. Amazing. Mind blowing even. The problem wasn't the sex, at least not for Donna. It was what happened after the sex. Josh just up and left. He left her in his guest room after they had mind blowing sex. He just left. Feeling anger replace the hurt, Donna got out of bed and began hastily pulling her clothes on. Jackass. 

He just left? He thought that he could just leave after making love to her? What? Did Josh think that she was going to forget that it happened? Ignore it? Move on and bring the banter so that their wouldn't be any awkwardness? Jackass!

Did Josh honestly think that they could pretend that _this_ never happened? Did he think that Donna was just going to forget that they had sex, never mention it, and sit back and watch while he dated Amy Gardner? Jackass!!

Oh no. Donna wasn't just going to roll over and let Josh think that he could make love to her, twice, and never talk about it again. No. Donna wasn't going to let Josh think that he could just leave her in bed without an explanation. OH NO. No. This wasn't her fault. He started it. Josh was the one who started it. He held her. He kissed her. Josh was playfully. He was laughing. He told her that they were an "us." He hadn't been freaked out when she said home. He hadn't run screaming from the room. He sat there and grinned at her for gods sake. Josh even insinuated that she was going to live here with him. After all that. After making her feel loved, he just left? Oh there was going to be some yelling involved and it was Donna who was going to do the yelling this time. Josh was going to hear exactly what Donna had to say. Jackass!

Pulling her sweater over her head, Donna tried to keep her tears in check. Crying wouldn't help. Mourning a relationship that didn't exist wouldn't make her feel any better. Pulling together the tiny pieces of her heart would have to wait until later.

Grabbing her keys, Donna stuffed them into her pocket and walked out into the warm morning sun. She was going to walk to the White House, yell at Josh for thinking that he could do this to her and call Casey and see if his offer was still there.

---------

"Leo, you busy?"

"Hey," Leo said waving Josh in, "you're here?"

"Yeah." Josh said closing the door behind him, "Why do you seemed so surprised by that?"

"I thought that you'd be at home driving Donna crazy."

Feeling his face heat up, Josh tried to keep the WAS JUST LAID face under control. Under wraps was a better idea. At least until he knew Leo wasn't going to kill him. "I have a couple things to do..."

"Anything important?" Leo asked.

"Isn't it all important?" Josh asked fidgeting with nervous energy.

"Yeah," Leo said regarding Josh with a knowing smile. "but I meant does anything need your attention right at this moment?"

"Well...no." Josh admitted.

"Then go home." Leo said dismissing him and going back to his own work.

"What?" Josh asked wearing his HAVE YOU LOST IT face clearly.

"I said go home." Leo repeated not looking up.

"I...but...I...but...." Josh tried.

"No buts. Go home."

"I have work..."

"And I don't want you doing it if you're going to be spending all your time thinking about Donna and whether or not she has enough ginger ale."

Feeling his face flush with embarrassment, Josh couldn't help but think about how he had checked that this morning before he left. Oh-kay, Leo knew him too well. It was disconcerting. "I can work, Leo. Don't worry."

"I know you can," Leo sighed, "but it's been a light week and it's Sunday for christ sake. Go home and annoy Donna, instead of staying here and annoying us. Give her my condolences." Leo teased.

"I can focus on...wait." Josh said looking at Leo oddly, "How did you know that Donna was at my place?"

"I know everything, Josh." Leo grinned, "Remember that."

"Leo." Josh said seriously. "How did you know?"

"Because I know you and your anal and overprotective tendencies when it comes to Donna. Of course you didn't let Donna go home to her own place."

"And you're okay with it?" Josh asked preparing himself for a scolding.

"As your boss or as your fathers friend?" Leo asked.

"Both."

"As your boss I can't say that I'm crazy about the idea, but it's you and Donna." Leo said shrugging his shoulders, "You're taking care of her. There's nothing wrong with that."

"Leo...I've got to tell you something." Josh stuttered shoving his hands in his pockets, looking like a guilty little boy, "Me and Donna...you see..."

"And as your fathers friend, and as yours," Leo said cutting a surprised Josh off, "all I have to say is WHAT THE HELL TOOK YOU SO LONG?"

Looking up at Leo in surprise, Josh looked around the room for a sign saying he had just slept with Donna, "What? How did you...Leo...what..."

"Remember?" Leo said leaning back in his seat and grinning at Josh, "I know everything."

"You know everything, huh?" Josh asked feeling his fears melt away at Leo's easy grin.

"Yeah." Leo confirmed, "You've also got a horrible poker face."

"So I've been told."

"Donna's a smart girl." Leo laughed.

"Yeah," Josh agreed grinning like a fool, "she is."

"Though I've got a few things to say about her choice in men." Leo teased.

"Ha, ha." Josh said falling into a visitor chair. "So you're really okay with it?"

"I am." Leo said leaning forward, "So relax. Take a deep breath and enjoy this thing you've got going with Donna."

"It's not a _thing_, Leo." Josh said without a trace of humor, "Me and Donna. It's the real thing."

"Yeah?" Leo asked, not surprised by Josh's conviction.

"Yeah."

"Okay."

"So...that's it?" Josh asked, "No big lecture about bad timing? No yelling? No pulling out the Chinese water torture?"

"Nah," Leo said smiling, "none of that. However, the President may do some yelling."

"Yeah?" Josh asked feeling his fears start to creep back.

"Yeah. He's gonna be mad at being off by just two weeks."

"Two weeks?" Josh asked confused. "What are you talking about?"

"The pool." Leo replied without missing a beat. "The President put his money down for two weeks from now. I personally put it down for a couple months ago. Who knew you really _were_ that stupid?  


"You're yanking my chain." Josh said skeptically.

"Nope."

"Yeah."

"Believe what you want." Leo said going back to his papers. "Now go away so that I can do some real work."

"Okay." Josh said getting up. His hand on the door knob, Josh turned back to Leo.

"Leo?"

"Yeah?"

"Better late then never...right?" Josh asked letting his I'M IN LOVE face shine bright

"Yeah." Leo grinned. 

"Okay." Josh said returning the smile, "I'm gonna go home."

"Josh!" Leo called out.

"Yeah?"

"You told her...right?" Leo asked frowning slightly. "I mean...you're not the stupid...right?"

"Told her?" Josh asked confused. "Told her what?"

"Josh." Leo growled.

"Oh." Josh said nodding. "Yeah. Yeah, I told her."

"Good."

"I mean, I told Amy that we were over two days ago."

"That's not what I meant," Leo said shaking his head, "but it's good that you broke up with Amy before things with Donna…"

"Leo," Josh said cutting him off, "I'm pretty sure me and Donna started a long time ago."

"Yeah," Leo agreed, "but I meant Donna."

"What?"

"Did you tell Donna that you love her?" Leo asked exasperated with Josh's stupidity.

"She knows." Josh said not worrying about it.

"I'll take that as a no." Leo sighed glaring at Josh.

"What?" Josh asked confused.

"Are you sure she knew?"

"Of course." Josh said with more confidence then he felt.

"You sure?"

"Yes?"

"Was that a question?" Leo asked frowning.

"No?"

"Josh!" Leo barked.

"Leo, I didn't tell her." Josh groaned, "I should have told her this morning before we made…"

"Whoa!" Leo said putting his hands up, "Stop. Too much information."

"What do I do now?" Josh asked panicking, "Leo?"

"Go home now and tell her."

"Okay. I can do that." Josh said nodding.

"Pray that she's still there, Josh."

Feeling his stomach fall to the floor, Josh swallowed hard and nodded. "Thanks Leo."

"I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yeah." Josh said quickly making his way back to his office. 

---------

"Amy." CJ said obviously surprised to see Lockjaw, um…Amy standing in Josh's office. "What are you doing here?"

"Waiting for J." Amy said not bothering to look up from her seat.

"You're sitting in Josh's chair." CJ pointed out needlessly.

"Yes, I am."

"Okay," CJ said regarding the woman strangely, "does Josh know that you're here?"

"I assume he'll find out when he walks in here to find me sitting in his chair." Amy said simply.

"Ah, okay." CJ frowned, "I guess."

"I'm surprised to see you here on a Sunday."

'I'm here to find out if Josh finally got together with Donna and dumped your ass.' CJ though as she smiled politely at Ms. Pain-in-the-ass-Gardner. "Yeah, just doing this thing."

"What is with you people and the word _thing_?" Amy asked not bothering to hide her disdain or fangs.

"I don't know." CJ shot back, "What's with you and replacing a persons name with one letter?"

"CJ?"

Spinning around to find a bewildered Josh, CJ glared in his direction. "You."

"Uh, hi?" Josh offered wondering what the daggers were for. Oh god, had she talked to Donna? Was she mad? Had she left already?

"I need to talk to you." CJ said leaving no room for argument.

"Okay," Josh said slipping past a towering CJ and into his office. "but not right now. I need to…Amy?" 

"J."

"What are you doing here?" Josh asked frowning, "Why are you in my chair?"

"We need to talk."

"Not now." Josh said grabbing his backpack and his coat.

"Now." Amy said glaring at him.

"No," Josh corrected, "later."

"J." Amy said freezing him with her ice, "Now. You owe me that much."

Sighing, Josh ran an agitated hand through his hair. "Fine. CJ, can you give us a second?"

"Yeah." CJ relented. "I'll be in my office when you're done."

"Okay." Josh nodded watching CJ close the door behind her. "What do you want Amy?"

---------

Closing Josh's door behind her, CJ noticed Donna walking into the bullpen, "Donna?"

"Hey." Donna said slightly winded.

"Are you okay?" CJ asked guiding Donna into an empty chair.

"No." Donna said honestly.

"What happened?" CJ asked noticing her expression and her labored breaths. "Did you walk?"

"Yeah, from Josh's apartment." Donna said cringing slightly at her words.

It didn't go unnoticed by CJ. "What happened." 

"Nothing." Donna lied unconvincingly.

"Donna."

"CJ," Donna sighed trying to get her breathing under control, "I…I can't get into it. Not right now."

"Okay," CJ relented, "but you know that you can come and talk to me…right?"

"Yeah." Donna said feeling her resolve starting to crack. She couldn't do this. She couldn't confront Josh.

---------

"You broke up with me." Amy pointed out getting out of Josh's chair.

"Yeah."

"I can't let you do that." Amy said coming around to him.

"You can't?" Josh exclaimed, "What the hell are you talking about?"

"I'm saying that you can't break up with me." Amy explained.

"We dated Amy." Josh said questioning her sanity, "It wasn't a lifelong sentence."

Frowning at his choice of words, Amy glared at Josh. "I'm un-breaking us up."

"What?" Josh laughed.

"We, at this very moment, are still dating." 

"Amy," Josh laughed shaking his head, "you've lost it."

"Shut up, J." Amy said before she grabbed him and kissed him.

---------

"Do you want to talk to Josh?" CJ asked rubbing Donna's arm comfortingly.

"No," Donna said slowly, "but I need too."

"Okay." CJ said wondering what the hell was going on, "I'll get him."

"Is he busy?" Donna asked catching CJ's arm and cursing herself for even caring if Josh was too busy to see her. She shouldn't care. She could just storm in there and tell him what a jackass he was.

"No," CJ said shaking her head, "at least Amy doesn't qualify as busy in my book."

"Amy?" Donna asked feeling anger flood her again and numb her aching heart.

"Yeah." CJ mumbled confused as she watched Donna shoot out of her chair and storm towards Josh's door.

---------

"What the hell?" Josh asked pulling away from Amy.

Her arms still wrapped around his neck, Amy grinned up at Josh. "Now, at this very moment, I'm dumping you."

"You are insane." Josh said shaking his head, "You know that?"

Before Amy could defend her sanity, Josh's door flew open.

---------

Her anger running on high, Donna threw Josh's door open. She wanted to yell. She wanted to scream. She wanted to throw things at him and hurt him the way he'd hurt her, but the moment she saw Amy standing there with her arms wrapped around Josh and Josh wearing Amy's lipstick, all the anger that Donna was feeling drained out of her. A wave of undesirable pain washed over her and broke whatever was left of her heart. This was what if felt like to have a broken heart. To be broken. This was what it felt like to die.

---------

"Donna!" Josh yelped pulling away from Amy.

"Josh!" CJ yelled standing behind Donna.

"I can explain." Josh said watching Donna look at him with blank eyes, "This isn't what it looks like."

Three of the occupants of the room held their breaths and waited for Donna to have some kind of reaction. They waited for yelling. They waited for anger. They waited for hate. But all they got were silent tears. 

She was numb. Donna was numb and the worst part was, she liked it. Nothing hurt. Nothing stung. Nothing felt broken.

"Donna," Josh said reaching out for her.

Donna felt herself snap out of the comfortable gray area the moment Josh brushed his warm skin over her cold skin. Reality came crashing back and all the memories hit her hard. Memories of what his lips felt like on hers. How his hands were gentle and arousing. How they felt together. How…how… 

"Don't." Donna whispered recoiling from Josh's touch.

"Donna," Josh said trying to reach out for her.

"Don't." Donna said pushing Josh away. "Don't." she said through her tears. Pivoting suddenly, Donna pushed past a stunned CJ and ran away from it all as fast as she could. 

`~`~`~`~`~`~`

My, oh my….was that long, late and angst-y. ;] Thanks so much for waiting for me while I suffered through and survived a nasty case of writers blocks. Thankfully, it has passed and the creative juices are flowing at an all time high. ;] I hope to have the last [maybe 1, maybe 2] chapters of Dark Depths out soon. Then I'll concentrate of Fighter. I can't thank you guys enough for the feedback that I've gotten!! You guys really are great. I hope that you've enjoyed this fic…and will enjoy all the fics to come. 

-Lucy

FYI: Man, this fic is at 121 pages now. Whoa. By far the longest thing I've ever written. ;]


	16. Cherry Blossoms

Title: Dark Depths

Author: Lucy Mars

Disclaimer: Nope, not mine.

**Enjoy. That's all I ask.** ;]

**Chapter #16**

"Jesus." Josh hissed pushing past CJ and running out after Donna. For someone who was just released from the hospital, she sure was sprinting fast.

Watching Josh disappear, CJ turned back to glower at Amy. "What the hell…"

Gathering up her coat and bag, Amy walked past CJ. "I'm gonna go."

"That's a good idea." 

Frowning at CJ, Amy made her way out of Josh's office. "He has a thing for her." she said over her shoulder.

"What?" CJ asked following Amy into the empty bullpen.

"The Deputy Chief of Staff," Amy said turning around to face CJ, "has a thing for his secretary."

"Assistant." CJ corrected.

"What?" Amy asked obviously annoyed.

"Donna is his assistant, but most importantly, his friend." CJ said standing her full height and staring down at Amy.

"She's his subordinate." Amy said slowly and purposely, "Do you know what it would look like for Josh to be screwing his secretary? Questions about impropriety are going to rise and people are going to wonder how Donna got her job…hell, I wonder how she got her job! And another thing…"

"For someone who makes a living talking about women's rights," CJ said cutting Amy off, "you sure are making some huge sexist comments."

Narrowing her eyes at CJ, Amy crossed her arms. "I don't need to prove anything to you. I didn't get where I am today by sleeping with anyone."

"If you are insinuating what I think you're insinuating," CJ said her voice calm and low, "then I suggest you leave before I sic an agent on your ass."

"Making threats, CJ?" 

"No," CJ growled, "promises."

"I'd leave if I were you."

Spinning around surprised, Amy put on a false smile for Toby and Sam. "Hey guys…"

"Don't even try it." Sam said shaking his head with annoyance.

"Try what?" Amy asked innocently.

"I repeat," Toby said giving Amy a bored look, "I'd leave if I were you."

"I can handle this." CJ said her face terrifyingly neutral.

"I don't believe you," Toby said simply, "and I don't think Leo would appreciate a fight in the middle of Josh's bullpen."

"CJ could take her." Sam said putting in his two cents.

Giving Sam an annoyed look, Amy scoffed at him. 

"You're still standing there." Toby sighed in that strangled way of his.

"Yes, I am." Amy pointed out needlessly.

"Why?" Toby asked.

"Because I can." Amy replied stubbornly.

"You really can't." Toby said launching his rubber pink ball dangerously close to Amy's feet and catching it easily when it came sailing back at him.

Flinching as the pink ball came sailing at her again, Amy scowled at Toby. "I'm waiting for J."

"I really don't think he'll want to talk to you when he gets back." CJ said crossing her arms.

"Well too bad for him."

"You were just leaving before you made disparaging remarks about CJ and Donna." Sam pointed out, watching Amy redden with sick fascination, "Why aren't you gone yet?" 

Her face reddening with anger, Amy glared at Sam. "I thought that you were his friend."

"What?" Sam asked confused.

"I though that you were Josh's friend."

"I am."

"If you were his friend," Amy spit out, "then you wouldn't let him fool around with his secretary…"

"Assistant." CJ, Toby and Sam corrected in unison.

"Assistant," Amy mumbled, "whatever. All I'm saying, is that if you were his friend, you wouldn't let Josh throw away his entire career for some leggy blonde, who happens to be a dollar a dozen."

"Okay," Sam said his voice sharp, "now you leave."

"All I'm…"

"No." Sam said cutting Amy off. He was seeing red and he'd never hit a woman before, but god, he was close to hitting Amy. "Just take your contradictory ass and get out of here."

"I'm just trying to…" Amy said trying to make her point.

"Oh for christ sake," Toby growled, "shut up and leave already. Before Sam brings a defamation of character suit and CJ kicks your ass from here to the RNC. You've somehow managed to talk yourself so far down a hole, I don't know when, or how, you're going to get out."

"I…" Amy stuttered surprised at Toby's tone.

"You've insulted CJ and questioned her credibility, which meant that at the same time you were insulting the administration and our credibility." Toby said his tone serious and cold, "You've also insulted Josh and Donna. Do you really think that Leo would have let Josh hire Donna if she wasn't competent and capable? Are you questioning Leo's decision? Are you question this White House and our merit?"

"N…no…" Amy stuttered trying to back track, "All I meant was…"

"No." Toby said waving a dismissive hand at Amy, "Just go."

Realizing that she'd walked herself into a dismal corner, Amy held her head up high and spun around. Walking out of the White House for good.

Watching Amy disappear for good, CJ turned at smiled at Toby. "Nicely done."

"I'm amazing this way." Toby deadpanned.

Grinning, Sam nodded. "Sometimes Toby…"

"Shut up and find some work to do." Toby growled heading back to his office.

"Okay," Sam laughed sharing a smile with CJ as they watched Toby head back towards his office.

"Tell me when they get back." Toby said over his shoulder.

"You want to know because you care?" CJ asked sharing a grin with Sam.

"Oh shut up." Toby growled turning around and smiling at the laughing duo, "Go find some real work, or something."

---------

"Donna!" Josh yelled running out of the White House after her. "Donna!"

Getting past the last gate, Donna pulled her sweater tightly around herself and fell into the sea of people looking up at the White House in awe. Ignoring Josh, Donna moved as fast as her legs would carry her. Her lungs burning, Donna pushed herself to go faster. Just get away and maybe it wouldn't hurt as much.

"Donna!" Josh yelled pushing past the people and trying to keep his eye on her blonde head. "Donna, stop!"

Donna could see people look up curiously, but she didn't care. Panting, she felt her ears burn every time Josh yelled her name.

Running faster, Josh finally caught Donna's arm. He held on tight, as much as she struggled, because he was never letting go. "Donna, please…"

"Shut up. Just shut up." Donna said trying to pry his fingers off of her arm. 

"Donna," Josh said grabbing hold of her shoulders and making her look at him, "let me explain."

"What is there to explain?" Donna demanded turning her face away from Josh.

"Donna," Josh begged holding on tight, "please."

"I don't want to hear it." Donna said shaking her head, "I don't care."

"Donna, please. Just listen to me."

"No." Donna said ripping herself out of Josh's grasp, "You left, not me. You left me this morning…"

"I didn't." Josh said trying to make Donna understand. "I didn't."

"You did!" Donna said looking up at Josh, her vision blurred with hot tears.

"I just…I was…" Josh said stumbling over his words, "I didn't think this morning…I should have woken you before I left…"

"I don't care." Donna said walking away.

"You don't mean that." Josh yelled.

"I do."

"Donna!" Josh said trying to keep up with her, and trying not to run a poor pedestrian over in his rush to keep up with her.

"Just go back to Amy." Donna spit out.

"We're over."

Scoffing, Donna hastily wiped away her tears. "It didn't look like that before."

"Donna," Josh said catching her arm, "I broke up with Amy two days ago."

"What?" Donna asked looking up at Josh surprised.

"I broke up with Amy two days ago." Josh repeated.

Studying Josh's expression, Donna shook her head in anger. "Do you think that I am an idiot?"

"What?" Josh asked confused.

"Do you think that I would believe you? If you broke up with her, then why didn't you tell me two days ago?" Donna demanded.

"I don't know…" Josh said trying to think of a valid reason.

"You don't know?" Donna asked incredulously.

"I don't!" Josh yelled frustrated.

Stopping, Donna turned to glare at Josh. "You could have told me when I asked you about Amy in the car. You could have told me when I asked about Amy in your apartment. You could have told me while we were having dinner, Josh!"

"I don't know why I didn't tell you." Josh said truthfully.

"Then what was she doing in your office?" Donna asked turning her face away. "Why were you two…" she said trailing off.

"She kissed me." Josh said needing to point that out. "I didn't even participate. Amy came to try, in some demented way of hers, take control of a relationship that was over."

"I just…" Donna said shaking her head.

"Ask Leo." Josh said following Donna as she tried to figure out where she wanted to go. 

"Ask Leo?" Donna echoed, confused where Josh was going with this.

"Ask him. I was in his office just before I found Amy, unexpectedly, in my office. I told him that I broke up with Amy two days ago, I told him about us…"

"Us?" Donna asked cutting Josh off.

"I told Leo," Josh said gently taking Donna's face in his hands, "about us. I told him that there was an us."

Swallowing, Donna shook her head. "Josh, this isn't…I don't know…we…is there a…"

"Donna," Josh said wiping away her tears with his thumb, "we're the real thing."

"We are?"

"Yeah," Josh whispered, "we are. Me and you. This is it."

"Josh…"

"I don't want you to worry." Josh said seriously, "I don't want you to question. I don't want you to wonder about how I feel. I don't want you to have any fears."

"Josh," Donna said looking up at him, "what about…"

"We'll worry about that when we get there."

"Are you sure Leo's okay with…"

"Yeah," Josh grinned, "Leo's okay with it. It seems that there's a pool going around."

"A pool?" Donna asked surprised.

"Yeah. Donna?" Josh asked leaning his forehead against hers.

"Yeah?" Donna replied finding herself mesmerized by Josh's big brown eyes.

"Can I tell you something?" Josh asked seriously.

"Yeah." Donna nodded holding her breath.

"I love you, Donnatella Moss." Josh whispered leaning in to kiss Donna softly. Moving onto her cheek and her eyes, Josh repeated it over and over with every kiss. "I love you. I love you. I love you."

Standing under the blooming cherry blossoms and in a sea of noisy tourists, Donna would always remember this particular street with a soft spot in her heart. This was where everything feel in line. This was were forever was carved in stone. This would be where Josh would propose and she would accept. This would be where they would come to share a quiet moment together, when they helped the President win second term. This would be where Donna would bring Josh to tell him that he was going to be a father…twice. This would be where they come to celebrate when CJ and Toby finally got it together. This would be where they would bring their children every spring when the cherry blossoms were in full bloom. This would be where they would stop when the days ran too long and the nights too short. This would be where Josh would bring Donna whenever he wanted to give her good news. This would be where they would come, with secret service agents in tow, extraordinary friends and loving family, to toast their 20th anniversary. This would be where memories were made and cherished.

"Donna?"

"Yeah?" Donna asked looking up at Josh with shinning eyes.

"You okay?" Josh asked brushing a gentle kiss over her eyebrow.

"Yeah."

"Okay."

"Josh?"

"Yeah?"

Smiling an ageless smile, Donna wrapped her arms tightly around Josh and brushed her soft lips over his perfect ones. "I love you." Donna whispered.

"I know." Josh smirked, before he leaned in to kiss her. "I love you too."

"I know." Donna echoed, listening as Josh's laughter spread through the bright sky.

The End.

`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`

*Ta Da!* C'est fini, mes amis. (Sorry, my French kinda sucks.) ;] Well, well and well again. What can I say. It's done, and man oh man, has it been an amazing ride….or what? I've had great fun writing this…and I don't know who else I would have shared this with, than you guys. ;]

The feedback that I've gotten has been astronomical and mind blowing. I don't know a greater bunch of people. I hope that you've enjoyed this experience as much as I have! *sniff*

Now, on with the next experience!! ;] Fighter, here I come! ;] …….and the random stand-alone…or hell, who knows, I just may start my next series out of the blue. ;]

-Lucy

April 4th, 2002.


End file.
